”

In the words of El Generico, Ole! Welcome folks to the final ECW before Sunday night’s big PPV show, that being Survivor Series of course. So let my good self, D.W, take you deep into Life in the Land of Extreme.

The show starts with Miz and John Morrison, who have decided to give us a insight into the traditional Survivor Series team match. They mention their team captain, that being JBL. One of the only people who is thriving in America’s current economy. As long as the team is leading Morrison and Miz into victory, he can remain captain. The two now go to focus on MVP, of course highlighting his losing streak. Yet MVP is the longest reigning US Champion, so teaming with these two might be able to get him back on streak. The final tag partner is Kane, who only a couple of months ago fought Morrison and Miz for the Tag Titles. Just saying. Morrison claims that their three partners have the privilege of teaming with the greatest tag team of the 21st century. Miz goes on to talk about their opponents now, first off being Great Khali. Miz goes on to mock the fact that Khali often makes out with fat chicks, before turning his attention away from the Punjabi Playboy onto the “Mexican Midget”. Miz gets down on his knees and crawls about, as Morrison lets out a “arriba”, pretty impressive too.

Cryme Tyme now, Morrison and Miz’s arch nemesis. Their strategy apparently is to get disqualified quickly and head to the locker room, where they can steal everyone’s stuff. Captain High Pants to end this round up, and he has a problem on his hands, says Morrison. None of his partners can speak English. Morrison and Miz want Michaels to be the last remaining member of his team, to realize that he is now nothing more than a mere stepping stone.

Grisham and Striker hype up the big main event tonight, that being Mark Henry, William Regal and Cody Rhodes facing the team of Matt Hardy, Finlay and Kofi Kingston.

One little thing, I’ve suddenly just found a great appeal in Jon Morrison. That guy’s awesome, digging the push off this week’s Raw too.

Match 1. DJ Gabriel/w Alicia Fox vs. Sal Rinauro.

Yes folks, Sal Rinauro is live on ECW! It’s only a squash match though, sorry to disappoint you folks. You might remember Alicia Fox as the wedding planner for the Edge/Vicke Guerrero wedding. DJ Gabriel is British and a well built guy, but dances like a moron. Rinaro’s tripped to the floor as Gabriel dances another jig, before connecting with an elbow drop. 2 count, as Gabriel connects with a over head take down, locking in a arm lock. DJ Gabriel is the latest member to the Superstar Inititive by the way, as he one again trips Sal to the mat. Irish whip is reversed by Sal, but he’s met with a stiff forehead. Kick to the stomach by Gabriel, connected by a leaping European Uppercut off the top rope. 1..2..3 and that’s all she wrote!

Thoughts: DJ Gabriel really isn’t anything on The Brian Kendrick’s awesome dance moves. I suggest that next week on ECW, Kendrick interrupts and embarrass this moron with his silky moves. Hey, a guy can dream.

Match 2. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger. Amateur Wrestling Challenge.

The first man to score the pinfall, or who has the most points by the 5 minute limit, wins. I don’t know how you gain points, because Tony Chimel didn’t deem it necessary.

Swagger puts on a singlet on his head, looking incredibly stupid. Dreamer doesn’t want to wear a singlet, as the two lock up. Swagger takes Dreamer down to the mat, winning two points. Both men fall to the mat now, as Swagger gains another two points. Never pinned in college was Swagger, not looking good for Dreamer. 4-1 at the moment as we reach the 3:50 mark. Three seconds later and an impressive takedown by Swagger gains another two points, as he begins to taunt Dreamer. 3:20 left now as Swagger continues to taunt Dreamer, taking off the singlet. Swagger looks away very briefly, before a spear takes him down for two points. A spear by Swagger as he locks in a chin lock. 2:16 left as Dreamer gets back to his feet, the crowd getting behind him now. For some reason Swagger is on his knees now, Dreamer is going to try and lock him in a submission hold. Instead Dreamer proceeds to boot Swagger square in the stomach, connecting with a DDT, resulting in a DDT. Dreamer doesn’t seem too fussed at the loss though, as he picks up a mic “oops, my bad, you win”. Swagger wins this one, but Dreamer gets the moral victory.

Thoughts: A three minute weird match, almost MMA at times. Think UFC, but crappy.

Another Boogeyman video package, still, at least he’s not returned to ruin the show just yet. Positive thinking you see.

Backstage now and this ongoing sexual tension between Tiffany and Ricky Ortiz continue to increase. Jack Swagger storms into the office now, demanding to see Teddy Long. Long isn’t in the room though, as Swagger asks Tiffany if she saw what happened just now. Tiffany says she didn’t see what happened, since she was too busy talking to Ricky Ortiz. Swagger flips, criticising Tiffany, but Ortiz jumps to her defence.

Ortiz criticises the lisp of Jack, but he responds by criticising the stupid hair of Ortiz, which I agree by. Long enters the fray now, as Swagger demands a rematch. The GM accepts, but since this week they fought under Swagger’s rules, next week it’s going to be in Dreamer’s rules.

Next week. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger. Extreme Rules match.

Oh folks here’s a treat. Matt Striker is standing by with a mic, a chalkboard by his side. With even a stick to point at random stuff, Striker hypes the different rivalry’s that bleed into this feud. Sadly it’s kept to a short time limit, as Mark Henry makes his way ringside.

Match 3. Kofi Kingston/Matt Hardy/Finlay/w Hornswoggle vs. William Regal/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry/wTony Atlas.

Apparently Striker beat Grisham last night on the new Smackdown vs. Raw Game, Striker as Hornswoggle. Grisham as Khali! That dude must suck big time, or Striker’s just great at everything he does. I choose the latter. William Regal and Finlay start this one, a throwback to the “good old days”. A battle of the Brits here too, as Finlay reverses out of a chin lock with a right hand. Cody Rhodes is tagged in now, as Finlay tags in Matt Hardy. Two forearms by Hardy, followed by an elbow drop. 2 count as Hardy connects with a scoop slam. Hardy takes a cheap shot at Henry, as both teams stare down. Back from the break and Regal drags Finlay up against the turnbuckles. Chop by Regal, as he tags in Rhodes, who stomps down on Finlay’s heads. Scoop slam followed by a rolling knee, but Finlay quickly recovers soon after. A straight right hand by Finlay, as Rhodes crawls to his corner, tagging in Mark Henry. Henry chokes Finlay with his giant boot, as Hornswoggle looks on. Working on that neck now, Henry keeps Finlay grounded, but the magical power of the cheering fans takes it’s toll on the Irishman. He gets back to his feet, charging off the ropes but landing straight into a big boot. Tag by Henry to Regal, who connects with a Full Nelson on the mat. Finlay gets to his feet and goes for a roll up, but Regal head butts him. Two count only, as Regal connects with a awesome T-Bone suplex. The pinfall is broken up by Hardy though, who is sent to the outside. Rhodes comes in now and is met with a clothesline by Finlay, as Kofi awaits the tag. In comes Kingston, who connects with a cross body block, followed by a hilarious Jamaican accent by Striker. Jamaican me crazy says Grisham, as he connects with that bizarre leg drop. Two count only as Regal breaks it up, only to be sent to the outside by Matt Hardy. Rhodes is sent to the ropes but Henry makes the blind tag now. Kingston tries to send him down with some boots, but it doesn’t work. He climbs to the top rope and goes for the cross body block, only to be dropped to the mat with the World’s Strongest Slam! 1…2…3, this man is unstoppable!

Thoughts: Great 6 man tag, Regal and Henry particularly impressing in this one.

Overall thoughts: A good show here, impressive segment involving the future of this company, Miz and Morrison. Then we got to see Sal Rinauro in WWE, some bizarre Amateur Wrestling and a great main event. Not the best ever show, but still good enough to keep us wrestling fans amused with this brand.

That’s it for this week, apologies for the later than usual report, but normal service shall be resumed next week. My name is D.W, thanks for reading, #insert lame ending here#.

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Right click and select “Save Target As” to download this episode of The CHIKARA Kids’ Table.

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Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. The Briscoe Brothers vs. Kevin Steen and El Generico. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels. John Cena vs. Edge. Homicide vs. Colt Cabana. Do Fixer vs. Blood Generation. BJ Whitmer vs. Jimmy Jacobs. Roderick Strong vs. Erick Stevens. KENTA vs. Naomichi Marufuji. Generation Next vs. The Embassy. Batista vs. The Undertaker. ROH vs. CZW.

The one thing that any of these feuds, or any other modern day feud, have in common is that no matter how good they have been, they can only be considered second best to the greatness that has been Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness. With the latest – and possibly final – chapter between these two ring generals about to be written, I dedicate this case to them. Because this is a special edition of the Case, I’ll give them an extra 500 words.

Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness is the greatest rivalry in modern wrestling.

Go…

I don’t mean to quote uninventive crowd chants, but folks, this is wrestling.

The rivalry between “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson and Nigel McGuinness has come to define wrestling. It’s a rivalry that transcends championships, as the ROH Title is only part of the equation in proving who is the better of the two. It’s one that has spanned seven states and three continents, most recently awing the Tokyo Nippon fans. For the past three years, they have managed to produce a Match of the Year Candidate, each of them destined to become a classic. Both men have bled buckets and fought through injury to claim supremacy. I think you would be very hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t enjoyed watching it unfold.

McGuinness and Danielson have been feuding for the better part of two and a half years. In wrestling, that is unheard of – at least statewide. Since Danielson returned from injury in May of 2007, the two have been locked in battle over the ROH World Title; held at that time by Takeshi Morishima. Even when they weren’t directly feuding, they were somehow involved with one another: McGuinness uppercutting Danielson in Tokyo for disrespecting Morishima; Danielson’s attempt to ruin McGuinness’ world title celebration; Danielson kicking McGuinness’ injured arm after his disqualification at Glory By Honor VI: Night 2; Nigel’s claim that he, not Danielson, is the best wrestler in the world.

Some rivalries – even the greatest of all time – become saturated when they are constantly revisited because there are no more stories to be told between the two combatants. Danielson and McGuinness, on the other hand, don’t fall into that category because their matches have been fleshed out over such a long period of time. Another reason is because since their first match – a one off ROH Title vs. Pure Title match at Weekend of Champions: Night 2 – both men have grown so much; particularly McGuinness, who was never seen as a threat to the title until he began to wow the fans with matches against Danielson.

They have squared off (and even partnered up) in many different matches since April of 2006 – title-for-title matches, tag matches, four corner elimination matches, the excellent $10,000 Challenge Match –, but there are three essentials that were generously spaced out over a year and a half. This trilogy of matches is the only one in the history of the company that could rival the one between Samoa Joe and CM Punk in terms of importance.

Their masterpiece from “Unified” has to be considered among the top five most important matches in company history as well as one of the finest of the decade. Both men created a classic worthy enough to main event Budokan Hall circa 1994, with an atmosphere that few crowds could only hope to replicate. If there was ever proof that a wrestler could become a star in a losing effort, this would be true of McGuinness’ performance that night. In front of the rabid Liverpool fans, he took the beating of a lifetime from Danielson and ended up emerging as the future of the company. In defeat, he shed his Pure Title skin forever and truly stepped into the limelight as a World Title contender. This is the point to which both men’s current status in the hierarchy of professional wrestling can be traced to.

The second classic was an unexpected surprise to the Philadelphia crowd, which had been purposely misinformed earlier in the night that Danielson would not compete due to injury. The match was taped for the “Driven” pay-per-view and helped set the standard for ROH on cable. Danielson was working his way back into title contention after returning a month earlier from injury, while McGuinness was emerging as the face of the company as they entered the pay-per-view era, thus representing the first time the two wrestlers could truly be viewed as equals. The match lacked the storytelling of the “Unified” match, but storytelling was not a necessity, as both men let the competition speak for itself. Danielson would be victorious again on this night, cementing his status the number one contender to the title, but both men came out looking like stars; with Danielson reclaiming his moniker of “Best Wrestler in the World,” while the match predated McGuinness’ title win later in the year.

The trilogy was completed this past February at the “Sixth Anniversary Show” when McGuinness finally defended the ROH Title against Danielson. The events earlier in that night – McGuinness trying to bow out due to fear of injury and Danielson questioning his honor – foretold of the heel turn that McGuinness would complete that night. Midway through the match, he would get himself intentionally disqualified for hitting the ref after taking a suplex from Danielson, whom he claimed was targeting his head. As the ROH faithful were on the brink of rioting, several wrestlers emerged from the locker room to demand that McGuinness fulfill his duties as champion and defend the belt honorably. The crowd was firmly behind Danielson, desperate for him to elbow McGuinness into unconsciousness; but Danielson remained a man of his word and attacked the body instead. Eventually, McGuinness employed shady tactics – a low blow and elbows to Danielson’s previously injured eye – to retain the belt and finally earn a huge singles victory over his adversary. It also marked the turning point in McGuinness’ title run that would help him transcend his status as stale face champion in pursuit of one of the longest reigns in the history of the company as a successful heel.

As I stated a few issues back in reference to Michaels and Jericho, the most effective feuds are the ones that do most of the storytelling in the ring. In the case of McGuinness and Danielson, each man believes simply that he is the better wrestler. Because both men are, in fact, two of the finest wrestlers working today, it is not necessary for them to tell the story any other way than through in-ring competition. They have not needed to rely on gimmick matches or any other frills that water down most angles. Their feud has been successful because of the fact that every match has been it’s own unique chapter in their story; evidenced in the three aforementioned essentials.

It’s hard for me – as I’m sure it is for many others – to grasp the concept that their title match this Saturday at Rising Above will mark the end of their feud. As long as both men are competing in an ROH ring, I can’t imagine them not being locked in battle with one another. It’s rather remarkable that after two and half years of feuding on and off, their feud could still feel like it has plenty of life left in it. If a new era is dawning in ROH, I don’t think the most tried and true rivalry in the history of the company should be forced to reach a conclusion. I feel that what McGuinness and Danielson have created has transcended booking committees, especially when many feuds and angles have come and gone since their first match against each other, and yet they are still the best thing this company has to offer us fans who truly see professional wrestling as a sport.

And that’s the beauty of the Danielson-McGuinness rivalry – they have never let us forget that this is wrestling. From the get go it’s been a game of one-upmanship, as both men battled to determine whom the best champion in ROH was. Even after this Saturday, there will still be no definitive answer as to who the better of the two truly is. But I would have to say that if this is the end of the feud, then this is how it should end; with Nigel retaining the belt once more over Danielson on pay-per-view, thus putting both men in what I would consider a dead heat. I don’t have to remind the Chicago faithful just how special a moment this is going to be – it’s going to be historic.

To quote two more chants, I would like to say, thank you Dragon and thank you Nigel. Your feud has been a reminder of why I got back into wrestling after a long hiatus, and why I started watching in the first place. This is wrestling, wrestling at it’s best.

Number of words it took me to state my case – 1,409

Random Thoughts
TNA and Sarah Palin. If you’re trying to run your promotion any further into the ground, this is how you get it done. TNA, I officially deem you dead to me.

If ROH is trying to remain in my good graces, it has been successful at doing so in the past week by signing two matches that I demanded for Final Battle weekend. The Danielson-Morishima match has been coming for a long time, and even though their feud hasn’t been remotely relevant since Morishima’s last run in May, fans have been clamoring for some closure for most of 2008. As someone who witnessed there three previous NYC bouts, I’m looking forward to one more, particularly in a Fight Without Honor. As for the announcement of the Aries-Marufuji Dream Match, I couldn’t be happier. I’m glad they are going to be seriously stacking both nights, making this possibly the biggest Final Battle yet. If the plan is to keep the fans happy by giving them what they’ve wanted for a long time - which is booking dream matches and settling unsettled grudges -, then I have to give kudos to ROH for doing so.

I got quite a lot of feedback to last week’s column, particularly on my backing of Bobby Dempsey. I do think the human baked potato still has a lot of potential to be a force in 2009, albeit I don’t think will we ever see gold around his waist (for more reasons than one). My belief is that everyone can be booked to their strengths, and if Dempsey was put in a similar situation he’s in now on the face side of things – being a sidekick to Albright, Stevens, and Strong –learning from his mentors how to stand up for himself, he could be as over as he ever has been.

Several other suggestions were made as to who should be pushed, ranging from the recently debuted Brodie Lee to the recently released Elijah Burke. At press time, I actually had no idea Burke had been released, and now that I know, I would like to take this time to say that I hope he comes to ROH. I always knew Burke had great potential and was bummed the moment he stopped appearing regularly on TV. As for Lee, outside of the squash match in Edison a few weeks ago, I’d yet to see any of his work. After my second viewing of Anivesariaoct, I can safely say that Lee is the best big man working today – which is something ROH has been desperately in need of since they lost Abyss.

Speaking of heavyweights, UFC 91 is officially in the record books. I’m pretty surprised (and disappointed since I was rooting for Randy) Brock was able to pull out the big win, considering the fact that Brock looked gassed after just one round. Of course, Randy lacks the iron jaw and has been knocked out before, and that was a big risk for him in facing Brock. Even with fifteen months of non-competing working against him, I think the 45-year-old “Natural” still has a couple of fights left in him. Regardless of whether or not Brock becomes the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion, I think a fight against Fedor somewhere down the line seems inevitable.

Going Home
That does it for this week’s extra long edition of the Case. Next week, I’m back to the 1,000 words or less format with a look at a wrestler who’s presence is necessary to the business. Peace I’m out of here.

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The weekend of June 13th, 14th, and 15th of 2008 brings you the 6th annual CHIKARA Young Lions Cup tournament! Last night, Vin Gerard made it past six other feisty Young Lions to make his way to the finals of the tournament on night three. Tonight, the second dozen competitors look to make their mark in CHIKARA. Just like on night one, the 12 competitors will compete in singles competition and the winners will advance to a Six Man Elimination match. The winner of the elimination match advances to the Young Lions Cup finals on Night three to face Vin Gerard. Who will make it to the finals tonight?

Commentary is provided by Mitch Ryder, Louden Noxious, Bryce Remsburg, Mike Quackenbush, Ultramantis Black, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Louden Noxious comes to introduce the participants. Senior official Bryce Remsburg comes in the ring and stops Louden. Bryce tells the crowd that Jason Blade is a weenie, and will not be in tournament competition tonight. Bryce calls for the CHIKARA hat with names in it, hoping to pick a replacement for Jason tonight. Bryce pulls a name out of the hat and it is “Matt Bourne.” Bryce runs backstage, but he is not here. Bryce pulls another name out and it is “Evan Sydal”. He is also not there. Bryce pulls out a third name, being “Christian Faith.” Christian is here, and will take Jason’s spot in the tournament.

All 12 participants are then brought out, EXCEPT Worker Ant, who mysteriously does not show up! Anywho, the other 11 participants have the ceremonious picture taken.

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Kyle Matthews vs. Lince Dorado

Lince says tonight is his night. He says it’s his second chance at the Young Lions Cup, and he is no stranger to second chances. Lince mentions his life-threatening injury back at Chapter 11, but had a second chance when he returned to the ring and won the 2008 King of Trios. He says his streak continues when he wins the Young Lions Cup this weekend.

Lince and Kyle switch waist locks in the beginning. Each men attempts some pinfalls during the exchange, but to no avail. Both men jump back to their feet to applause. Lince hip tosses Kyle and nips up but Kyle hits him on the neck with a forearm. He goes for a clothesline, but Lince rolls under Kyle and jumps off the ropes onto Kyle. Lince goes up for an inverted hurricanrana, but Kyle puts Lince on his shoulders and hot shots him off the ropes. Kyle follows up with a knee to the back that sends Lince to the outside. Kyle hits a dive onto Lince through the second ropes. Kyle rolls Lince back in the ring and kicks Lince in the back of the head. Kyle applies a headlock onto Lince, mocking Lince on the mat. Kyle then turns the headlock into a leg lock around Lince’s abs. Lince gets off the mat and whips Kyle to the ropes. Lince sunset flips Kyle for the two count. Kyle gets up and hits Lince with a leg drop. Kyle takes Lince to the top rope, but Lince gets out of it. Lince tosses Kyle out of the ring. Lince jumps up to the top rope and back flips onto Kyle, barely catching him with his feet. Lince gets Kyle back in the ring. Lince sets up for a Urinagi, but does a 180 flip Urinagi instead! Lince locks on an Anaconda Vice variation, but Kyle escapes. Kyle gives Lince a flurry of offense. Lince kicks his leg out and follows up with a spinning heel kick for the two count. Kyle managed to throw Lince in the ropes and dropkicked him in the corner. Kyle then follows up with a double stomp to Lince’s back for the two count. Kyle fights some more and brings Lince to the corner. He puts Lince up top looking for a suplex. Lince fights out and pushes Kyle to the mat. Lince follows up with the Shooting Star Press for the victory! Lince advances to the semi-final elimination bout. This match, as Brad would say, was not amazing. *3/4

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Ophidian vs. Steve “The Turtle” Weiner

Weiner cuts a promo saying how he is looking forward to his Young Lions debut and will win the Cup. He says that this is the last year he is eligible for the tournament. He points out some similarities between he and Ophidian, but he says that Turtle Power is going to explode and he will defeat Ophidian, and beat Vin Gerard on Night 3. He said the fans have wanted to see him be serious, and they will see just that. Not the worst thing ever, but I still hate Steve Weiner.

Ophidian becomes my new favorite wrestler as he attacks Steve with a knee. He chokes and kicks Steve in the corner. He takes Steve to the outside, slaps him on the chest, then sends Steve back in the ring. Ophidian kicks Steve in the chest then chokes him out on the ropes. He then wraps Steve in the ropes and applies a stretch. Ophidian takes Steve to the mat and puts on a double leg full nelson. Ophidian rolls it into a prawn hold, but only gets a two count. Ophidian hits Steve some more and rolls him up for a two. Ophidian tosses Steve into the ropes and follows. Steve moves out of the way and school boys Ophidian for the two count. Ophidian continues to beat him down, but hurts his hand on Steve’s shell. They stand up and Ophidian begins to attack but Steve feels no effect. Ophidian tries a double knee, but Steve turns around and Ophidian hits his knees against Steve’s shell! Steve takes advantage attacking Ophidian with terrible looking offense, except for the moves where Ophidian was mostly in control. Steve hits his Shellsational Slam, but only gets a two count. Steve then runs at Ophidian for a splash, but Ophidian turns it into the Ophidian Death Grip for the win! THANK GOD. This wasn’t awful, because Ophidian is so awesome. Weiner is so awful on offense, but isn’t the worst on defense. Still not so great. *

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Chip Day vs. Worker Ant

Chip Day says he is here representing NWA Anarchy. He says the sent him there because they believe in his ability to bring the Cup home. He says he also believes in himself, and that is why he is bringing the cup home for Anarchy.

Leonard F. Chikarason is waiting to help Worker Ant down the stage, as he is limping with a crutch under one arm. Worker says to the camera “Hey Vin, a personal thank you for this, as you have given me more motivation to kill you.” They get in the ring. Leonard says that he hopes Vin can hear him, because he is sick of his antics. He says him attacking Worker Ant was out of line, and he refuses to let him cause the Colony the Young Lions Cup much like Vin cost them the King of Trios tournament. He says out of good consciousness, he can’t let Worker Ant compete tonight. But, he asks for both Soldier Ant and Fire Ant to come out. He says one, and only one of them can take Worker’s spot in the tournament. They play rock, paper, scissors, and Fire Ant wins! (Rock beat scissors, btw).

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Chip Day vs. Fire Ant

Chip Day is a human shill for Mountain Dew. His tights look like the Mountain Dew can, and he comes out drinking a can of Mountain Dew. Day and Fire Ant go back and forth with Fire Ant getting an arm lock on Chip. He follows up with an arm drag off the top rope. He arm drags him into the mat, then chops him in the corner. Fire Ant attempts to throw Chip Day, but Chip reverses and hurricanranas Fire Ant to the outside. Chip follows up with a tope con hielo to the outside. Chips back thuds against the wooden floor, and only gets a two count. Chip worked over Fire Ant with some hard offense on the mat. Chip tosses Fire Ant into the corner. Fire Ant flips up and wraps his head around Chip’s head. Fire Ant tosses Chip into the corner with his legs. Fire Ant follows up by going to the top rope of the opposite corner and coming off with a missile dropkick. Fire Ant then follows up with a tope con hielo of his own. Fire Ant followed up with his own offense, and tossed Chip into the corner. Fire Ant followed, but at the same time Chip looked to run out of the corner. This caused both combatants to collide heads. Chip fell to the outside and took a swig of his Mountain Dew, causing him to “Chip Up” and head back into the ring. Chip chops Fire Ant down to the mat. Fire Ant nips up and tosses Chip to the ropes, but Chip comes off and dropkick’s Fire Ant’s legs out. Chip follows up with a big senton splash. He goes for a pin, but only gets a two. He goes off the ropes and is blocked by Fire Ant. Chip Day follows up with a leg sweep pinning combination for a two count only. Fire Ant ducks a clothesline and elbow and goes for a hurricanrana. Chip blocks it and picks him up for a power bomb instead. Chip looked to follow up with a Cancun Tornado but hit the mat. Both men get up as the crowd claps. As both men get to their feet, Vin Gerard comes out! Luckily, Worker Ant hit him with a crutch to block interference. Fire Ant nails a stunner and a Beach Break to get the victory! Fire Ant heads to the six way elimination later. This was excellent, much better than the first two qualifiers. **3/4

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Tim Donst vs. Christian Faith

Donst is seconded by Crossbones, and Mantis is on commentary rooting for him. Donst and Faith lock up, and Faith throws Donst in the corner. Donst went for a couple of roll up pins early, but to no avail. Faith spends the majority of the match beating down on Donst. Donst try to counter Faith’s offense with a German suplex, but Faith bumped out of it. Faith hit some pretty cool offense for a big man including a nice knee to the corner and a sky high powerbomb. During this, Donst again tried for a German suplex, but Faith spun around while Donst had his arms wrapped around his waist. Donst spun around for awhile, then let go and splat against the mat. The tide turned in Donst’s favor when Faith went up top for a corkscrew senton, but hit the mat as Donst rolled away. Donst got to his feet and delivered some hard chops to Donst. Donst attempted to throw Faith to the ropes, but Faith reversed it throwing Donst to the ropes instead. Faith catches Donst with a rolling elbow for the two count. Faith picks up Donst and goes for another rolling elbow. Donst ducks the elbow and finally hits Faith with the German suplex. Donst then locks on the CHIKARA Special for the win! Donst advances to the six way elimination. Pretty good match; two worked well for a short notice no-show. **1/4

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Shayne Hawke vs. Bobby Dempsey

Hawke cuts a promo saying he is going to win the Young Lions Cup for the Fabulous Two, and then he and Mitch Ryder are going to win the Campeones de Parejas. Pretty basic promo, but delivered greatly but young Mr. Hawke.

Hawke starts off by telling Bryce that Bobby pulled his hair, when neither man made a move. Bryce mocked Hawke by telling Bobby to no longer pull his hair. Shayne wants a high five from Bryce, but Bryce fakes out Shayne and slicks his hair back. Bryce, however, gives Bobby a high five leading Mitch (on commentary) to believe he’s biased; we’ll see. Hawke puts a headlock on Bobby. Bobby pushes Shayne to the ropes, but Shayne puts on the break and states “I will not do the tackle thing!” Bobby then pushes Shayne into the ropes, where he once again stops and re-claims his statement. Bobby calls him a chicken so Shayne goes off each of the ropes faking out Bobby. He blows Bobby off and goes to ridicule a fan. Once he turns around, Bobby hits him with a body block. The two men exchange holds with Bobby doing some stuff you wouldn’t expect. Both men come to a stand still and lock up. Bobby pushes Hawke against the ropes, and pokes him in the eye. Hawke tries to throw Bobby off the ropes but gets pushed down instead. Hawke goes to slam Bobby, but Bobby is far too large for Shayne to slam. Bobby takes advantage and hits Hawke with some elbows and a big body slam. He splashes on Hawke for the two count. Bobby attempts a Urinagi slam but Hawke kicks Bobby down to his knees. Hawke comes off the ropes, only to be caught in the Urinagi position once more. Hawke reverses it and hits the Tomahawke on Bobby! Shayne Hawke rolls through into a pin, and pins Bobby for the three count. Shayne Hawke advances to the six way elimination. VERY fun match here; easy to watch and certainly enjoyable. **1/2

Young Lions Cup Qualifier
Johnny Gargano vs. Marshe Rockett

Marshe is backstage with his manager C-Red. C-Red says that the fans that The Soul Touchaz were done, but they’re back. Marshe says he can feel it tonight. C-Red puts on his shades because Marshe was spitting in his face. Marshe says he was doing so because he is so excited, and he is going to prove himself tonight in CHIKARA. C-Red says he and the Soul Touchaz are going back to Chicago Sunday night with a big shiny cup, and they will be singing and dancing in Hellertown tonight. Marshe leaves, and C-Red sings to the camera. Marshe comes back to retrieve C-Red. I LOVE THE SOUL TOUCHAZ!

Marshe and C-Red do the whole “ugonmakemebuymesom” hand shake, only for Gargano to wonder what the heck is going on. Marshe and Gargano get in a cheering battle where each man stands on the second ropes and gets approval from the crowd. Marshe was the clear winner here. When Marshe was standing on the second rope, Gargano ran up from behind and attacked him. Gargano hit a flurry of offense on Marshe, but Marshe worked out of it and dropkicked Gargano to the outside. Gargano walks around, takes a seat, then comes back in at his leisure. Marshe dances off with Gargano, who does the whitest dance moves possible. Gargano and Marshe then do a beautiful sequence of drop downs, reversals, etc. to the delight of the fans. Marshe runs after Gargano in the corner. Gargano catches Marshe’s leg, throws it between the ropes, blasts Marshe with an Enzugiri, then cracks his back with double knees. This was really an excellent way for Gargano to get the advantage. Johnny beat down on Marshe and wore him out with submissions. Marshe would come back every once in awhile, only to be denied by Gargano. Gargano really impressed the crowd with the precision and sleekness of his moves. There was cool sequence where Marshe fought up and tried to get the advantage, but Gargano kicked out his legs and nailed a superkick on him. Gargano continued his domination on Marshe, but never was able to get the pin it seemed. Frustrated, Gargano headed up top. Marshe got to his feet and Gargano launched off the top. To everyone’s shock, Marshe caught Gargano with an Ace Crusher and the win! Marshe is the final man to advance to the six man elimination! This match was excellent; just like Night One the final qualifying match is far and away the best. ***1/4

Lightning Storm (Mike Quackenbush & Shane Storm) vs. The Super Smash Bros. (Player Uno & Stupefied)

We go backstage with Uno and Stupefied arguing over which is better; hot dogs and hamburgers. Uno says that tonight is the re-debut of their quest for three points, and asks Stupefied to speak. Stupefied speaks in French for awhile. Uno says that he was talking about cowboy boots, which has nothing to do with anything. Uno says tonight that Quackenbush and Storm are going to get “pwned”! The Super Smash Bros. go to high five, but miss. This was great.

Stupefied and Quack start off, with them exchanging arm locks and such. Quack seems to get the one up on Stupefied each time, but Stupefied is right there with him. Uno gets tagged in and those two exchange holds. They exchange some leap frogs and other moves, ending with Uno giving Quack the Hadoken. Quack is able to get his arms up in time to block. Quack and Uno shake one another’s hands and tag in their partners. Storm and Stupefied begin to go at it and also exchange holds much like Uno and Quack. Stupefied gets tagged in and Storm knocks Stupefied down, giving Lightning Storm the advantage. Quack is tagged in and takes Stupefied down. Quack begins to stretch Stupefied like a pretzel with a zany lucha submission and a surfboard. As soon as he is able. Stupefied rolls out of the ring. Quack follows him with a tope con helio over the top. Shane and Uno come in as the legal men and immediately get in a face slap battle. Storm gets the mild advantage until Stupefied comes in to help. Stupefied and Uno hit Storm with a double stunner called “Indian Jones and the Temple of Gold.” Stupefied leave his partner and hits a tope con helio on Quack himself. Stupefied then goes up top looking for a drop kick on Storm, but hits Uno instead! Quack comes back in and Lightning Storm begins working over Uno. Stupefied makes the save, and Lightning Storm tries throwing him to the ropes. Instead, Stupefied hits them both with a back flip kick. Uno gets up, but Lightning Storm grabs him, wraps his legs around Stupefied’s head, and throws Uno backwards. This causes Uno to hit a backwards hurricanrana onto his own partner! Storm picks up Stupefied and spins him right into a knee drop. Quackenbush picks up Stupefied and hits him with a gut wrench DDT. Storm sets up as Quack goes up top, and the duo hits the double stomp Air Raid Crash! At this very moment, while Quack is resting in the corner, Tim Donst runs out and whispers something into Quackenbush’s ear. Storm rolls up Stupefied while this is happening, and gets the pin! Lightning Storm has accumulated the three points needed for a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas. Very good match between two very good teams. ***1/2

Quackenbush stands up as Bryce is raising Shane’s arm in victory. Quack immediately pounces on Storm and starts pounding him on the mat. Bryce tries pulling Quack off of Storm, and Storm rolls out as soon as he can. Storm leaves through the back with Quack trying to claw out of the ring to get Shane Storm. As soon as Storm leaves, Quackenbush sits on the mat and looks up at Donst with an angry look and says “You better be sure.” Quackenbush then lies on the mat grabbing his forehead. He stands up and starts walking as if he is going to the back, but turns around and runs out the exit where Shane Storm left. Tim Donst follows. And here, my friends, is the overlapping storyline for everything that’s going on in CHIKARA today.

The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple (Ultramantis Black & Crossbones) vs. The Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz & Willie “da Bomb” Richardson)

The Soul Touchaz and C-Red do the whole “ugonmakemebuymesom” hand shake, once again and Hydra tries his own handshake with the Order on the outside. Mantis tells Hydra they don’t need him at ringside, and orders Hydra to attend to Donst in the back. The crowd boos this decision as Hydra hangs his head and slowly walks to the back. Ultramantis and Acid Jaz start off. Jaz puts Mantis in a wrist lock, which Mantis twists into his own. Jaz works his way out of it with a flurry of offense and nails Mantis with a spinning heel kick. Jaz tags in Willie, which causes Mantis to flee to his corner. Mantis tags in the heavyweight horror Crossbones to even up the size difference. Crossbones and Willie go back and forth with chops and strikes. Crossbones throws Willie off the ropes, and Willie leap frogs over Crossbone. Willie comes back with a dropkick much to the delight of the fans. Willie follows up with an elbow off the second rope for the two count. Crossbones rolls out tagging in Mantis. Mantis gets attacked by Willie on the way in. Jaz comes in and Willie throws him up. Jaz lands a rana on Mantis on his way down. Jaz comes off the ropes twice with two leg drops onto Mantis. On his third time off the ropes, Jaz breakdances on the mat into a fist drop onto Mantis! Very cool spot. Jaz tries throwing Mantis into the ropes, but Mantis reverses. Crossbones kicks Jaz in the back as he hits the rope leading to an advantage for the Order. The Order spends a long time keeping Jaz in the ring. Mantis and Crossbones made frequent tags and taking advantage of a distracted official. Mantis and Crossbones stretched Jaz on the mat in addition to wearing him out with strikes and kicks. Jaz was able to turn one of Mantis’ moves into a bridge, but Mantis got right back on him. Jaz got out of the beatdown after reversing a rope throw attempt by Mantis. Jaz stopped it by crushing his knee into Mantis’ face and following up with a nice Enzugiri. Jaz tags in Willie who comes in knocking down both members of the Temple. Willie goes for a move on Mantis only to be countered by a DDT. Crossbones comes crashinig down off the top rope with a splash, but Jaz breaks up the pin. Jaz takes down Crossbones with an X-Factor, then tosses Mantis into a Pounce by Willie Richardson! Willie goes up top to prepare for his big legdrop, but Crossbones crotches him on the top rope. Crossbones then hits a big time suplex on Willie off the top rope while Mantis keeps Jaz busy. Willie rolls out of the ring after the suplex making Acid Jaz the legal man. Jaz tries his best to take out both members. Unfortunately for him, Crossbones catches Acid Jaz with the Friggin’ Sweet Driver for the pin. The Order combo of Mantis and Crossbones now have two points! This was great fun; The Soul Touchaz are far and away some of the best outside talent CHIKARA brings in. ***1/2

Young Lions Cup Six Way Elimination Semi-Finals
Lince Dorado vs. Ophidian vs. Fire Ant vs. Tim Donst vs. Shayne Hawke vs. Marshe Rockett

All six men pose, with all the Tecnicos getting cheered and the two Rudos being booed. Shayne and Lince start off. They bounce back and forth off the ropes until Shayne knocks Lince down to the mat. Shayne lies next to him and begins convulsing; openly mocking Lince’s real life seizure he had back in 2007. Lince chases Shayne around the ring. Both men run back in and Shayne tags in Ophidian. Lince tags in Marshe Rockett. Marshe and Ophidian also go back and forth with Marshe getting the advantage. Marshe hits a big leg drop off the ropes, causing Ophidian to roll out of the ring. Shayne comes in and sets up for a double axe handle. He runs at Marshe who throws him against the ropes. Shayne bounces off the ropes screaming while still in the double axe handle position until Marshe takes him down with a big boot, sending Shayne to the outside. Ophidian runs in, but Marshe puts up his fist causing Ophidian to flinch. Marshe tags in Donst. Ophidian and Donst lock up. Ophidian attempts a victory roll but only gets a two. They roll on the mat, until Ophidian throws Donst in the corner. Ophidian uses the ropes to wrap his legs around Donst’s head and toss him. Ophidian gut wrenches Donst and rolls forward into a pin but only gets two. Ophidian slaps Lince on the chest, tagging Lince into the match. Donst and Lince begin rolling on the mat with each of them attempting a pin. Lince then asks for something and is handed a black singlet. He puts on the singlet and gets in the Amateur position. Donst grabs his waist and Bryce signals for them to go. Both men begin exchanging waist locks back and forth with Bryce even getting in the middle! Eventually this ceases and all three men drop to the mat. Lince and Donst look at Bryce wondering why he got involved, and Bryce swears it was unintentional. Donst tags in Fire Ant. Lince and Fire Ant do some lucha ending with Fire Ant locking on an Anaconda Vice on Lince in the ropes. Fire Ant relinquishes the hold and goes to the outside. Lince does a tope con heilo to the outside onto Fire Ant. Shayne Hawke and Ophidian toss in Marshe Rockett and double team him. They toss him off the ropes looking for a double team clothesline, but Marshe ducks and flies over the top onto Fire Ant and Lince Dorado. Ophidian and Shayne high five and lock to both fly over the top, but Shayne puts on the breaks and chops Ophidian instead. Shayne tosses Ophidian over the top rope. Ophidian lands on Marshe and takes him down with a headscissors. Shayne then goes up top and hits everyone with a senton. The crowd chants “Donst!” as he is the last one in the ring. Donst looks to go over, but Fire Ant comes back and takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Fire Ant then takes out every other competitor in the match with a fireman’s carry and almost hit Bryce with one as well. Donst takes Fire Ant down with an STO for a two count. Fire Ant is taken out with a suplex into the ropes. Lince comes in and knocks down Donst and hits a backflip onto Donst causing him to leave the ring. Shayne comes in and pounds away on Lince. Shayne follows up with an elbow to Lince off the second rope for the two count. Marshe tries a pin on Shayne for a two, followed by Ophidian striking Marshe with double knees for a two count. Lince and Marshe are in the ring. Marshe hits a chin breaker on Lince for the two count. Marshe catches Lince in mid-leap frog for a roll up, but Lince turns it into the CHIKARA Special! Marshe submits, giving us our first elimination.

Ophidian immediately locks on the Ophidian Death Grip on Lince! He gets Lince on the mat near the point of him passing out, but Lince is able to escape. Lince hits Ophidian with a flurry of offense and comes off the top rope with a senton. Lince rolls up for a two count. Lince picks up Ophidian and hits a flip Urinagi, and locks on the Anaconda Vice! Ophidian slaps Lince in the chest to alleviate some of the grip. Ophidian rolls through into a reverse Rolling Prawn Hold and pins Lince Dorado! Lince is eliminated.

Donst comes in looking for an STO, but Ophidian rolls him into a reverse Rolling Prawn Hold for the pin! Tim Donst is also eliminated.

Fire Ant comes and Ophidian locks on the Ophidian Death Grip. Fire Ant backs Ophidian into the corner forcing him to let the move go. Ophidian gets Fire Ant into the reverse Rolling Prawn Hold, but Fire Ant reverses it into a regular Prawn Hold and gets the pin on Ophidian! Ophidian is eliminated, leaving Fire Ant and Shayne Hawke as the last two men.

Hawke comes in and goes for the Tomahawke on Fire Ant, but Fire Ant gets him in the Beach Break position. Hawke rolls out of that and lands a hard super kick on Fire Ant for the two count. Fire Ant gets up and takes Hawke down. He lands a back senton on Shayne but only gets two. Shayne hits a second super kick on Fire Ant and follows up with a Swanton off the top. Shayne hits a third super kick and goes for the pin, only to get two. Shayne picks up Fire Ant and hits the Tomahawke, yet Fire Ant kicks out! Shayne then takes Fire Ant up top looking for a Tomahawke off the second rope. Fire Ant nails his elbow into the head of Shayne and picks him up. Fire Ant hits an awesome Beach Break off the rope onto Shayne. That’s enough to get Fire Ant the three count! Fire Ant heads to the Young Lions Cup finals tomorrow night opposite Vin Gerard. This was a great match; not as good as last night’s six way, but still very good. ***3/4

Speaking of Vin Gerard, he comes out and stands on the merchandise table. He tells Fire Ant that the cup is his.

Overall: The night started off not so hot, but by the end of the elimination matches it picked up immensely. While the wrestling tonight may not have been better than Night One, I think this Night moved more fluently and was more enjoyable overall (especially the last five matches). Recommended!

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Quicken Loans Arena – Cleveland, Ohio – September 7, 2008

DVD Release Date: October 7, 2008

The opening video package first highlights the three scramble matches, and then moves on to the awesome Shawn Michaels versus Chris Jericho feud. And that’s two-thirds of the card right there. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker of ECW welcome us to the show and away we go.

MATCH #1: ECW Championship Scramble Match – Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero

Henry has been the champion since 6.29.08 and this is his fourth defense. The rules are as follows –

- 20 minute time limit on match
- 2 superstars start in the ring and every 5 minutes a new superstar enters
- If a superstar scores a pinfall or submission over another superstar, he becomes the current champion
- Whoever is the champion at the end of 20 minutes becomes the official champion

I just wanted to make sure that suck out so everyone understands the silly rules. It’s pretty much like the hardcore battle royal at WrestleMania 2000, except each fall doesn’t count as an official title change, just the final one. Matt Hardy will start the match with The Miz. They start out with some basic mat wrestling, with Hardy gaining the early advantage. Miz comes back with a hip toss for two and then he goes to the headlock. Hardy comes back and tries the bulldog but Miz pushes him off. Hardy then avoids a charge and slams Miz down to the mat with a sit-down powerbomb for two. Matt hits a big clothesline for two as I start to wish they had a clock in the corner of the screen. Miz comes back by hanging Hardy’s neck on the top rope and then puts on a chinlock. Hardy battles out of it and hits a sunset flip for two. Miz pops up and hits a clothesline. Hardy comes back and tries Splash Mountain but Miz avoids it and hits the Reality Check and Hardy rolls to the floor much to Miz’s frustration. He rolls him back in th erring but Hardy kicks out as the next entrant is coming out and it’s Chavo Guerrero, accompanied by Bam Neely. He pulls the top rope down, sending Miz to the floor and then he hits a Frog Splash on Hardy to become the temporary titleholder at 5:22. Miz comes back in and Chavo goes to work on him. I just come to realize that I really like Grisham and Striker on commentary. Meanwhile Miz makes the comeback but Chavo actually hits a Rolling Liger Kick. Miz goes to the floor and Chavo hits a slingshot dive. All three get in the ring and they work in some three-way spots. Miz nails a cross body block off the top rope onto both men for a good pop from his hometown crowd. He gets two on Hardy. Now Hardy fires up and delivers a series of maneuvers to both opponents. He’s able to pin Chavo to become the new temporary champion at 8:53. We hit 10 minutes and the OFFICIAL ECW Champion Mark Henry is on his way to the ring with Tony Atlas. The challengers wisely all attack Henry simultaneously and he shoves them off. He continues to maul all three opponents, and he hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Chavo to become the current champion at 11:51. He hits Miz with the World’s Strongest Slam. He continues to dominate, with no one able to counter the strength of the current and actual ECW Champion. Finlay comes out and we only have five minutes left of match. He hits a DDT on Henry but can’t get the pin. Now the clock is on the screen. Hornswoggle distracts the referee, allowing Finlay to hit Henry with the shillelagh and he and Hardy throw Henry to the floor. Finlay then hits Hardy with the Celtic Cross to pin him and become current champion at 16:15. Miz comes off with a missile dropkick and Finlay is down. Miz picks up Hardy, who is able to hit the Twist of Fate out of nowhere to pin Miz and become the champion at 16:44. Henry is back in the ring now, and Chavo tries to steal a pin on Miz but Matt breaks it up. Hardy just has to break up all the pins now. Miz is bleeding from the head. Hardy continues to break up the pins and the crowd is staying behind him. Everyone tries going for pins and the time runs out at 20:04 and Matt Hardy is the brand new ECW Champion. I totally thought that the structure of this match wouldn’t lend itself to drama, but seeing Hardy hold on for the last three minutes was really cool stuff and sets up for an obvious rematch with former champion Mark Henry and that’s always good to have a feud ready to go for the new champion.
Rating: ***½

After the match Jeff Hardy congratulates his brother backstage, as Matt wants Jeff to win his scramble tonight too and make it a clean sweep for the Hardys!

They show World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk (Raw) and WWE Champion Triple H (Smackdown) backstage mentally preparing for their upcoming matches.

The text message poll question for this show is “should Vickie Guerrero have allowed the Big Show in the Championship Scramble?”

MATCH #2: World Tag Team Championship Match – Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Cryme Tyme

Rhodes & DiBiase have been the champions since 8.11.08 and this is their first defense. JTG and Rhodes start the match. The challengers start the match on fire and dump the champions to the floor. Shad then tosses JTG over the ropes and onto both opponents. Back in the ring Rhodes makes the tag to DiBiase, who also gets dominated by Cryme Tyme. The champs come back and isolate on JTG in their corner. They work over his arm for a few minutes until JTG grabs DiBiase in a back suplex, but DiBiase makes the tag first and Rhodes keeps JTG in the ring. Rhodes reveals he can do a moonault (the first in his family I’m sure), but JTG moves and finally makes the hot tag to Shad and the crowd loves it. The match breaks down to a brawl and the referee loses control. In the midst of it all, JTG gets Rhodes in a small package, but DiBiase rolls it over and Rhodes scores the pin at 11:35. Cole calls the win “stolen” but they didn’t really do anything wrong. The match was barely decent but greatly elevated by the crowd heat.
Rating: **½

The champions get back in the ring and they start to brawl. Suddenly a large Samoan man runs out and assists the World Tag Team Champions in dispatching their opponents. Cole and Lawler have no idea who it is, but just by his looks you think they’d be able to make an educated guess.

WWE wants you to buy the “The Rock: The Most Electrifying Man in Sports-Entertainment” DVD. I think you should read my review first.

MATCH #3: Unsanctioned Match – Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

In the back the trainer is taping up Michaels’s arm; apparently he suffered a slightly torn triceps last Monday on Raw. Michaels is wearing his street clothes and attacks Jericho right away and the fight is on. Michaels quickly pulls his boot off and beats Jericho with it. Jericho tries to escape outside but Michaels follows him and they spill over into the crowd. He catapults Jericho into the ring post, but Jericho is able to avoid a chair shot and now he goes to work on Michaels. He sets up a table and tries to powerbomb Michaels through it. Michaels avoids that but can’t avoid getting his face slammed on the ring apron. Jericho runs his shoulder in the steel ring post, but recovers and tries to suplex Michaels from the ring through the table on the floor, but it’s blocked. Michales goes on offense now and straight up chokes Jericho down to the mat. That’s awesome. He hits the Macho Elbow and then goes for Sweet Chin Music, but changes his mind at the last minute and instead punches Jericho in the face a bunch of times. He then locks on the Crippler Crossface but Jericho powers out of it and rams Michaels’s head into the steel chair that had earlier been suck between the turnbuckles. Damn, that’s a great spot. They roll out a couple more cool spots I’ve never seen before and just seem hell-bent on kicking the crap out of each other. Jericho puts on the Walls of Jericho and Michaels reaches the ropes but it’s unsanctioned so he doesn’t have to break anything. Michaels is able to reach under the ring and grab a fire extinguisher and blast it right in Jericho’s eyes. I’m not too sure why Jericho turned around while he had the hold on, but I’ll forgive them. Michaels then hits Jericho in the head with it, and they go to the floor. Jericho gets suplexed on the floor, and then Lance Cade comes out to interfere but Michaels easily takes him out. Cade comes back though and hits Michaels in the injured am and then clotheslines him. They double team him and work on the arm. Jericho slams it with a steel chair several times, as girls in the audience look upset. Michaels finally makes a comeback, hitting Sweet Chin Music on Cade out of nowhere, and then hitting Jericho in the face with the chair and Jericho falls from the second rope through the table on the floor. Michaels goes outside and violently hits Jericho with it a few times. He clears the announce table and sets Cade on it, then puts Jericho on top of him. That’s gay dude. Michaels then hits the flying elbow from the top rope. Michaels selling after the move is amazing. Back in the ring Michaels takes his belt off and whips Jericho with it. He then ties up Jericho’s arms and hits an extended series of punches to the face, and the referee calls for the bell at 26:53. What an awesome match. Michaels hasn’t had enough, and attacks Jericho again after the bell and keeps punching him in the face. Shawn’s facial expressions throughout this match and afterward have been phenomenal. He superkicks the referee and more referees come down to try and get help for Jericho and the ref. These two just need to feud for always and forever from now on.
Rating: ****½

Randy Orton Confronts Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu

We go backstage with the World Tag Team Champions, where they name their companion, Manu, the son of Wild Samoan Afa. They’re celebrating when Randy Orton comes in and congratulates them, but then says it was only because of dumb luck. He then cuts a pretty great promo on them, saying he is not impressed with them at all.

MATCH #4: WWE Championship Scramble Match – Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Brian Kendrick

The same rules apply here as the ECW Championship Scramble. Triple H has been the champion since 4.27.08 and this is his seventh defense. Jeff Hardy and Shelton Benjamin start it off. They had a couple of really good matches on TV in the weeks leading up to this show. Benjamin gets a quick cradle for two. Hardy follows with one of his own. They go back and forth with neither main gaining a prolonged advantage. They each get a couple of near falls, and number three makes his way to the ring and it’s The Brian Kendrick, accompanied by Ezekiel Jackson. This is Kendrick’s first shot at the WWE Championship. It’s really too bad that his former partner will seemingly never get another one. Kendrick knocks Shelton off the ring apron and then goes after Hardy. He gets a few moves in, but Hardy comes back and hits an alley-oop on Kendrick to get the pin at 7:19 to become the current champion. Kendrick sells his facial bump outside the ring while Hardy and Benjamin exchange moves. Benjamin hits the Paydirt but Kendrick makes his way back in and breaks up the count. The Kendrick hits The Kendrick on Hardy to score the pin at 9:33 and becomes the current champion. MVP comes out soon after and this is also his first chance at the title. He goes after Kendrick and seems to get a few cheers for it. He dumps Hardy and Kendrick to the floor and goes to work on Benjamin. He goes for the Drive By but Kendrick breaks it up with a kick of his own. Hardy is back now and he disposes of Kendrick. Everyone seems to just be killing time now until Triple H shows up. The champion only has to work five minutes. Kendrick invites him to the ring and the Game is taking on everybody. He soon hits the Pedigree on Kendrick to regain his title at 16:00. HHH and Benjamin head outside and back inside Hardy hits MVP with the Twist of Fate and pins him at 17:10. Kendrick then tries The Kendrick but Hardy blocks it and hits a gourdbuster. He goes up top and HHH crotches him and then HHH hits Kendrick with the Pedigree and regains the belt at 18:15. But Jeff recovers and comes off the top rope with the Swanton on Kendrick when HHH Isn’t looking and gets a quick pin at 18:30. HHH tries a Pedigree on Hardy but he gets back dropped over the ropes and Hardy hits a somersault dive on him. The action picks up in the ring with Hardy just trying to hang on. HHH gets in the ring and Pedigrees MVP to score the pin at 20:14 and retain the WWE Championship when time runs out at 20:15. The stupid part of that is that Hardy went for a pin on Benjamin instead of breaking up HHH’s cover. Hardy already was the champion, pinning someone wouldn’t do him any good, but stopping someone from pinning someone else would have resulted in him being the champion. I really hope Hardy somehow screwed that up instead of that exact scenario being the idea the agents came up with. Anyway, the match itself was fun enough but nothing too special, since none of the challengers (Hardy included) felt like they even had the slightest chance of winning the belt.
Rating: ***

WWE wants you to buy “The Life and Times of Mr. Perfect.” I should have that reviewed shortly.

Todd Grisham Interviews Shawn Michaels

Grisham wants to know if Michaels is content with his win over Jericho tonight. He’s glad he’s not in a hospital, like he has been the last three pay-per-views. He says he is content, but not satisfied, and there’s no closure. He wants to do what he did to Jericho tonight every night. He says “the worst is definitely yet to come.” More please.

Eve Torres Interviews CM Punk

Eve is looking rather hot tonight. The World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk starts talking about his chances tonight when Randy Orton interrupts and calls him a fluke. Punk questions Orton’s injury and says he’s got a lot to prove, and then he gets attacked out of nowhere by Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, and Manu. Kofi Kingston tries to make the save but he gets beaten up too. Orton hits the big concussion kick on Punk, and he tells the trio that was impressive.

MATCH #5: Divas Championship Match – Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle has been the Divas Champion since 7.20.08, and this is her first defense. They start off with some competent chain wrestling. They go to the floor and Michelle gets thrown into the barricade, but comes back with a kick to the face. They go back to the ring and Maryse starts working on Michelle’s knee. The champion comes back and goes after the challenger’s knee. Maryse pulls Michelle throat first into the middle rope and chokes her. They do some more stuff and the crowd doesn’t care. Michelle hits a gourdbuster and that’s enough to get the pin at 5:42. I’m sure they train hard and they’re trying out there, but nothing they did out there meant anything.
Rating: *

The results of the text poll show that 77% of the people think Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show to be in the Championship Scramble.

Speaking of, Raw General Manager Mike Adamle is out to announce that CM Punk will probably not be able to compete tonight. If that is the case, he says he will have to find a suitable replacement, but the match will for sure take place.

Big Show Wants His Chance in the World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Match

Big Show is making his way down to the ring, and he appears to be in a jovial mood. Show offers himself up to replace Punk in the scramble. He pleads his case and nicely thanks the audience, but before he can leave Vickie Guerrero makes her way out to the ring. She cuts a brutally terrible promo trying to threaten Show, and then the druids start making their way out. Undertaker shows up on the video screen. He cuts some lame promo and then comes out to the arena. Show holds Vickie for him and I wonder where this could possibly be going. Show punches Undertaker in the face and then beats on him. This went on forever and seemed to be much more suited to happening on television. I continue to not understand why they let Vickie Guerrero open her mouth on TV.

MATCH #6: World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Match – Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. JBL vs. Chris Jericho

We’re right up to bell time and we still don’t know if Punk is competing or not. If he is, he’s been the champion since 6.30.08, and this would be his fifth defense. Batista and JBL are the first two entrants in the match. Sigh, this means 20 minutes of JBL wrestling. Batista overpowers JBL early on, but winds up eating an elbow on a charge to the corner. Batista comes back with a clothesline for a one-count. JBL comes back with a sleeper. Batista comes back with a shinbreaker. Batista works on the leg and JBL is able to kick him out to the floor, where Batista throws JBL shoulder first into the ring steps. Kane comes out at number three. He takes the advantage since he’s fresh. The crowd isn’t particularly interested in what’s going on here. Kane goes up for the flying clothesline but Batista moves out of the way. Kane comes back and goes for the Chokeslam but Batista fights out and goes for the Batista Bomb but JBL finally recovers and breaks that up. Kane knocks Batista to the floor. JBL tries the Clothesline from Hell but Kane avoids it and hits the Chokeslam to pin JBL and become the current champion at 7:34. Rey Mysterio is out now and he goes right for his rival Kane. He and Batista double team Kane, and that snake in the grass Batista goes for a cover while Rey is recovering from splashing Kane from Batista’s shoulders. They try it again but this time Rey reverses it to a sunset flip for a near fall. JBL takes advantage and knocks Batista down, and then gives Rey The Last Call, landing on Batista. Then he hits Kane with a boot, as he’s in control of everyone. The fifth man is coming out, and it’s Chris Jericho! He’s still selling his injuries from the unsanctioned match with Michaels. Now Batista is speaking everybody as we’re down to about three and a half minutes left. He tries the Batista Bomb on Rey, but Rey avoids it and hits a 619 on JBL. He tries to springboard back in the ring on Batista, but he gets waffled with a clothesline instead. JBL hits a Clothesline from Hell on Kane, and then gets hit by a Batista spinebuster. Kane gets up and signals for the chokeslam on Batista, but gets hit by a spear instead. Batista follows up with a spinebuster to win the title at 16:39. Jericho sneaks in and gets another pinfall on Kane at 17:08 to steal the World Title, and the match is over at an obviously short 17:15. Jericho becoming the champion is a good thing, but I have to think there was a better way than this. The match itself was pretty brutal, with JBL, Kane, and Batista occupying the first half of it, and Jericho essentially doing nothing. Punk being stripped of the title is a bummer, as I think it would have done TONS more for his character for him to come out injured and courageously defended his title, only to be beaten by Jericho the next night on Raw or something.
Rating: **

SPECIAL FEATURES

Eve Torres Interviews Big Show and Vickie Guerrero as They Are Leaving the Arena

Vickie and Show gloat about their beat down of the Undertaker tonight, and they make some threats and stuff and then leave.

Chris Jericho Addresses the Crowd from Monday Night Raw, 9.8.08

Jericho is out in a suit to gloat about his victory last night to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. He takes the shirt off to show the bruises and welts all over his body from the beating he received from Shawn Michaels. The promo seems to be kind of cut off out of nowhere.

Overall

Shawn Michaels versus Chris Jericho is well worth going out of your way to see, as I really think it’s the best match the two have ever had up to that point (I haven’t seen the ladder match yet). The scrambles all range in quality, but I actually don’t think the concept is all that bad, it just probably would have been better if they only had one of them. Jericho taking the belt is a good move, and Matt Hardy getting another big win was nice to see. The only real black eye on the show is that ridiculously long Undertaker segment, but other than that this is another solid show.

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Sorry for not posting last week but my home internet connection got all buggered up when upping my speeds and was only resolved when a guy came over on Friday to debug my router or something.

Anyways, today’s episode is stellar but first:

TALKING POINTS!

-With the absence of internet I finally got around to watching some non-wrestling DVD’s.  I’ve been watching Kenny vs Spenny since the second season but never got around to watching the first season.  Anyways, in the “Who is Stronger” competition , none other than TNA Knockouts Angelina Love and Tracy Brooks show up and get in Spenny’s face.  This was before their implants mind you and I have to say, Tracy looks more like a man now then before.  Angelina needed them though. I’m just sayin’.  Anyways, watch this show as it’s great and I believe it airs on Comedy Central in the States.  Or just torrent it, which you do anyway if you watch B-Banquet in it’s full form. Plus, this years season finale is “Who Can Smoke the Most Weed” and you just know that’s going to be golden.

-Speaking of TNA, if you remove that “ew, I’m watching TNA” feeling from iMPACT! these days, it’s actually improved quite a bit to the level of “fairly acceptable TV” and since I just got to watch the PPV (their best of the year IMO) I have to say this Arethra Franklin feud is making for a good compan overall.  One question:  the hell is ODB doing with the nu-skool?  She shows up on week one, and then this weeks iMPACT! but does nothing for the team.

- ECW’s main event (which I had to watch on TV at midnight on Friday, (well Saturday afternoon, but still, what a shitty airtime) was great stuff.

NOW, let’s get down to it: AJPW Battle Banquet 190 on Gaora

Welcome screen let’s us know that the matches on today’s show will be:
1.    Masa Fuchi, Nobukazu Hirai, & Akira Raijin vs. NOSAWA Rongai, MAZADA, & TAKEMURA
2.    T28 & Seiya Sanada vs. KAI & Antonio Thomas
3.    Kensuke Sasaki, Kaz Hayashi, Katsuhiko Nakajima & Manabu Soya vs. TARU, Rene Dupree, Shuji Kondo, & Brother YASSHI
4.    Triple Crown:
Suwama © vs. Osamu Nishimura

And Avril Lavigne’s Japanese version of whatever song that is comes on as the intro rolls and oh, how I have missed this program.

-Akira Raijin has been training and wrestling all over Canada, Mexico and the United States.   He likes to use the spear, a sort of reverse FU, and Moonsault to finish off his opponents.

We’re at the Osaka Prefectural Gymnasium for Cross Over Tour ’08.
It’s June 28th, 2008.

1.    Masa Fuchi, Nobukazu Hirai, & Akira Raijin vs. NOSAWA Rongai, MAZADA, & TAKEMURA

We’re JIP with Akira Raijin dominating MAZADA.  He hits a superkick and then a huge spear.

FAST FORWARD!

GURENTAI is in and they triple-super powerbomb Raijin.  TAKEMURA and MAZADA both get a waistlock on Raijin before NOSAWA hits his freakin’ awesome stuttering shining wizard and the heels release into a huge german afterwards.  Hirai breaks up the two, Fuchi kicks NOSAWA in the face, Hirai hits his running knee, Raijin hits his reverse FU and a moonsault for the win.

*1/2 in 14:41. Pretty much a showcase for Akira Raijin with a hint of the GURENTAI triple team offense.  It wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad.

2.    T28 & Seiya Sanada vs. KAI & Antonio Thomas

We’re JIP with T28 and Sanada hitting a double dropkick on KAI who kicks out. Sanada then hits a backdrop before T28 hits his sweet bouncing reverse elbow drop from the top.  KAI dropkicks and reverses a flying T28’s springboard attempt.

FAST FORWARD!

KAI hits a LOUD superkick on T28 while in Antonio Thomas’ grasp which leads into a DANGEROUS looking german by Thomas.  Thomas hits a plancha on Sanada on the outside and KAI goes up top, hitting a Superfly Splash for the three.

* in 11:10.  What was shown was fine, I like Thomas in Japan.

-TARU making a big deal out of a JACKED Rene Dupree is funny.  He apparently squashed Manabu Soya in his debut. KENSKAY doesn’t think much of the former WWE star beating on his (well for today) friend and hence we have:

3.    Kensuke Sasaki, Kaz Hayashi ,Katsuhiko Nakajima & Manabu Soya vs. TARU, Rene Dupree, Shuji Kondo, & Brother YASSHI

We’re JIP with TARU beating on Nakajima in the VM corner.  Dupree in and he does a bunch of punchy-kicky stuff before Kondo tags in and things become entertaining again.  They all hit running corner clothelslines and go for their patented leg split low blow.  Nakajima cries as his balls shatter.  Dupree hits a top rope elbow but Nakajima kicks out.  Nakajima reverses a double team and….

FAST FORWARD!

Soya whips YASSHI into a Hayashi superkick.  Soya bounces then hits a Muta like bulldog.  Kensuke chops the hell out of YASSHI’s chest while Nakajima kicks the hell out of his back.  I love the tiltawhirl koppo kick that Nak-Kensuke hit next.

FAST FORWARD!

Hayashi up top and Kondo ducks.  However, Hayashi does the Davey Richards handstand, rope-bouncing spin kick on Kondo (if someone has a better name for it, let me know PLEASE).  Hayashi goes to follow up but Kondo pops him up and nails a powerslam.  Nakajima hit’s a running, jumping kick to Kondo’s face (picture KENTA’s Busaiku Knee only with a foot, ouch) before TARU comes in and assaults Nakajima with his own barrage of kicks.  Nakajima reverses out of a tombstone and Soya spears the shit out of him.  That was GORE, GORE, GORE-ish. 

Rene Dupree hits a double clothesline on the good guys and poses.  Kenskay in now and we have a JACKED GUYS LARIATO-OFF which Sasaki wins.  Brother YASSHI interrupts the celebration and hits a blatant low blow.  I love how Japanese refs don’t do anything about ball shots. Kensuke then hits a Manhattan drop right onto YASSHI’s sack.  He then runs in place while shouting quite loudly and… LARIATOOOOO! Brother YASSHI is dead and the faces win.

**3/4 in 13: 50.  What was shown was premium stuff, unlike the first two matches.  I wonder if this is the last we see of Nak-Kensuke in AJPW?   I can’t remember when they started frequenting NOAH but I definitely don’t remember them coming back.  I don’t really care about KENSKAY but Nakajima is awesome and he in the upcoming Junior league would have been fun.  Unless of course he’s in it and then this rant was for nothing.  Anyways…

-Suwama beat Tanahashi in the finals of the Champions Carnival via Last Ride.  He beat Sasaki for the Triple Crown via frog splash.  However, since then it’s been all problems.  Nishimura has pinned him a few times and Suwama does not take losing well as shown by him spazzing all over Osaka.  In their last encounter in tag action, Suwama was lariating Nishi all over the place but today’s challenger pinned him with a surprise backslide.  Nishimura’s calm but excited while Suwama is straight up pissed and frustrated.

4.    Triple Crown:
Suwama © vs. Osamu Nishimura

Shoeless Nishimura is even better than regular Nishimura and the commentators discuss this in the pre-fight introductions.  34:00 left in the program, hopefully this one is a goody. One, two, three, four lockups/chain wrestling/clean breaks to start.  This one looks to be MUGAish.  I wonder if Suwama can hang in the mat wrestling world with Nishimura?  Their mat stuff is slow, but not uninteresting.  Very catch-as-catch can.  Even after a very neat little 5 minute roll around Suwama does the clean break double chest slap.  That’s respect man, that’s respect. 

Lock up number five.  Nishimura mirrors Suwama with his own clean break out of the head-scissors.  Lock up number six.  Nishimura is working the arm and turns a Fujiwara armbar into a crippler crossface.  Suwama escapes that and is ripping apart Nishimura’s left knee.  Achilles hold now.  Nishimura is crafty and turns it into an ankle lock.  Lock up seven.  Suwama is the first to break the chain of clean breaks.  They have a strike off.  The result: Suwama’s double chop > Nishimura’s elbow smash. 

Nishi bails and on the apron Suwama hits the vertical suplex back into the ring.  He goes up top but  Nishimura hits TWO enziguris.  The second one leaving Suwama hanging by the knee.  Eventually, the ref gets him detached but Nishimura is PISSED.  He nails Suwama’s injured knee with a belt, a chair, a knee drop off the apron, and then another chair.  He then goes back in the ring and asks for, and receives a polite applause. Oh how I love ????.

Once Suwama re-enters Nishimura quickly goes for the figure four but Suwama instantly turns it over.  The crafty veteran bounces off the ropes without breaking and tortures the champ who finally gets the rope break.  Suwama is definitely holding his own in a mat war.  They’ve been stuck in the figure four in the ropes for a good minute and it takes KAI of all people to untie their legs.

Both foes legs’ are in clear pain.  With Nishimura on the apron they have another strike off.   The mighty double chops send Nishimura to the floor.  HOLY CRAP: Suwama deadlifts Nishimura and hits a stalling (for maybe 5 seconds) backdrop driver.  That was beautiful.

Suwama now hits a knee breaker and ankle lock.  Just as Nishimura approaches the ropes, Suwama goes Kurt Angle all over that bitch and grapevine’s the leg.  Eventually, Nishimura gets to the ropes, except Suwama’s not done and turns a single crab back into another ankle lock. 

Back on their feet and Nishimura is just eating the double chops but he WILL NOT GO DOWN. Lariat! He’s still standing.  Lariat to the back! He’s still up!  Third Lariat, but no! Backslide! 1.2.No!  Suwama has learned from past mistakes apparently.  He tries again for the lariat but Nishimura gets the waist lock roll up with bridge for another near fall.  He then hits a BAREFOOT enziguiri and applies a DEEP octopus hold. Suwama rolls back into a pin attempt and Nishimura breaks.

  Nishi is clearly impressed with the champ.  Not that impressed however, as he manages to taunt and goes for a headlock. Bad idea.  BACKDROP!  Suwama goes for the brainbust…NO Small Package! That was close.  Suwama is up and goes to pick up Nishi but is met with another small package.
Suwama whips Nishimura into the corner and hits a running clothesline and belly to belly.  Suwama signals lariat but Nishimura ducks and gets a sleeper which he turns into a rear naked choke.  Suwama raises his arm on the third fall. 

Nishimura is now certifiably pissed off and figure four’s Suwama’s neck.  Double underhook suplex! Suwama kicks out.  Nishimura then applies another deep abdominal stretch and sneak clutch pin for a nearfall.  Suwama grabs the ankle and Nishimura is IN PAIN!  Suwama somehow turns that ankle lock into a snap german.  ROLLING LARIAT! BACKDROP! Oh, so close.  Last Ride time! He nails it!  That get’s the win.

****1/2 in 36:57.  That was a technical masterpiece.  Suwama is probably only second to Tanahashi in skill level of the next generation of heavyweights.  Nishimura proved that he can still bring the goods and I would love seeing him as champ one day.  They shake hands after and everyone is happy, including me.

Afterwards they talk.  The hard feelings are gone and Nishimura is satisfied with Suwama as champion.

NEWS BANQUET! Buy DVD’s, especially the Champions carnival.  Also, attend the junior league.  Pimpage for another Puroresu Love event. Go to a bunch of websites! Watch AJPW on your cell phone!

“I LOVE YOU BABY!” plays as highlights are shown.

Until Next time…

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Title Holders as of October 19th, 2008

FIP World Champion

Go Shiozaki

Champion since Heatstroke 2008 defeating Erick Stevens - Crystal River, FL 8.23.2008
1st Defense: Kevin Steen - Philadelphia, PA 9.20.2008 (ROH Glory By Honor VII)
2nd Defense: Roderick Strong - Crystal River, FL 10.11.2008 (FIP Impact of Honor II)
3rd Defense: Austin Aries - Danbury, CT 10.24.2008 (ROH Return of the 187)
4th Defense: Necro Butcher - Edison, NJ 10.25.2008 (Ring of Honor) (Double countout)

FIP Tag Team Champions
Jason Blade & Kenny King

Champions since Unstoppable 2007 defeating The Briscoe Brothers - Crystal River, FL 11.9.2007
1st Defense: Shawn Osbourne & Robert Anthony - Crystal River, FL 2.16.2008
2nd Defense: Jay Briscoe & Austin Aries - Crystal River, FL 4.26.2008
3rd Defense: Tyler Black & Jimmy Jacobs - Crystal River, FL 5.30.2008
4th Defense: Tyler Black & Jimmy Jacobs (2/3 Falls) - Crystal River, FL 7.19.2008
5th Defense: Briscoe Brothers - Crystal River, FL 10.11.2008

FIP Florida Heritage Champion
Chris Jones
Champion since Impact of Honor II 10.11.2008 when he defeated Sal Rinauro
Next Defense: Unknown

Notable Feuds

Erick Stevens vs. Go Shiozaki
Erick Stevens is trying to get his title back from Go. He lost a #1 Contendership match against Tyler Black at Impact of Honor II. Will the former 2-time Champ set new goals or will his quest continue?

Chris Jones vs. The YRR
Chris Jones put up a fight against the YRR throughout Impact of Honor II, resulting in multiple beatdowns. By the end of the night, Jones was the one smiling as he ended Sal Rinauro’s 11 month reign as Florida Heritage Champion. How will Sal and the rest of the YRR react?

Recent Results
10.11.08 - IMPACT OF HONOR 2
National Guard Armory in Crystal River, FL

FIP Florida Heritage Title Match
Chris Jones def. Sal Rinaruo become the new FIP Florida Heritage champion

FIP Tag Team Title Match
Kenny King and Jason Blade of The YRR def. Jay & Mark Briscoe to retain the FIP tag team titles

FIP World Heavyweight Title Match
Go Shiozaki w/ Heartbreak Enterprises def. Roderick Strong to retain the FIP heavyweight title

Shimmer Title Match
MsChif def. Rain to retain the Shimmer title

#1 Contender’s Match
Tyler Black def. Erick Stevens

The British Lions def. Damien Wayne & Rex Sterling w/ Heartbreak Enterprises

Chasyn Rance of the YRR def. Nooie Lee

Dark City Fight Club def. The Lifeguards

Shawn Osborne def. CJ O’Doyle

The future in FIP
The unfortunate thing about FIP is that between shows, the company doesn’t really come out of hibernation to hype the next event. With that said, I am going to make a few predictions about what the future has in store for Full Impact Pro.

1. Do you think that any of the current champions in FIP will lose their belts before the New Year?
Yes, I most certainly do. For those that do not know, Kenny King is moving out of Florida to Las Vegas. This will make it harder for him to appear in FIP. I think it is very possible that whoever him and Jason Blade defend against in December will win the belts. I have no clue on what team that would be though. I would like to say Dark City Fight Club or the Osirian Portal (which I will be getting into later in the column), but I have my doubts on the latter.

The Florida Heritage Title will stay with Chris Jones for a while. He is a breath of fresh air in independent wrestling and he will prove that fact by having an outstanding title reign.

I wonder about Go though. He is obviously defending against Tyler Black (assuming that the match will happen in December). I do not know if it is Tyler’s time to win the belt if he does get his shot.

2. What major names will make a presence known in FIP in 2009?
Osirian Portal. Yes, the tag team from Chikara. Thanks to the brilliant invention of MySpace, I have found out that the current Campeones de Parejas will be debuting in FIP in December. They have the perfect type of gimmick for the FIP fanbase to get into. I also was informed that Gran Akuma is supposedly making his long awaited FIP return in December as well. Hopefully the Chikara alumni will have a stronger presence leading into 2009 (with thelikes of Chuckie T. and others hopefully to follow soon).

3. Who will be “Mr. FIP” in 2009?
Arguably, in 2007 Mr. FIP was Roderick Strong for having both a year-long title reign and having the best matches on the show regularly. You could say that either he, Erick Stevens, or Tyler Black is Mr. FIP this year. Currently it is hard to say.

4. What will FIP do differentiate itself from the other indys in 2009?
This might seem cliche, but I want FIP to have some form of a tournament on a show next year. PWG has BOLA, IWA-MS has TPI, Chikara has YLC, CZW has Best of the Best, ROH has SOTF/Race to the Top. Tournaments are always a good way to get attention plus sell DVDs. FIP has not had a tournament since Battle of the Belts where Erick Stevens was crowned the Florida Heritage Champion. If FIP were to do two nights, that might be costly, but even following CZW and doing a one-night singles tournament would be interesting.

5. Will there be less ROH involvement in FIP in 2009?
With the recent resigning of Gabe as booker, it would not surprise me to see less FIP in ROH. However, I am sure that the ROH champion will make an occasional defense in FIP. After all, they are under the same DVD production label. At the most recent FIP show, there was no ROH involvement but that was more than likely due to the ROH Florida shows getting pulled. In August, there was the Necro/Black match that was leading into Jacobs/Necro in ROH but there has not been much outside of that since Stevens/Strong ended. Like I said, I believe that the ROH title will still make appearances, but the storylines will be toned down.

Upcoming shows
Friday December 19th, 2008
Grant Street Community Center
2547 Grant St., Melbourne, FL 32935
Doors open at 7:30 pm and show starts at 8 pm
Tickets are $20 Ringside, $15 GA & Kids 13 and under $10 GA
Advance tickets - $12 GA & Kids 13 and under $8 GA
To purchase advance tickets call (352) 422-4582 or click here.

Matches to be announced soon!

Saturday, December 20, 2008
National Guard Armory
8551 W. Venable St., Crystal River, FL 34429
Doors open at 7:30 pm and show starts at 8 pm
Tickets are $20 Ringside, $15 GA & Kids 13 and under $10 GA
Advance tickets - $12 GA & Kids 13 and under $8 GA
To purchase advance tickets call (352) 422-4582 or click here.

Melbourne makes me happy as that is the closest FIP has ever gotten to me in the past. 90 Miles is easier than 240 so if for some reason I cannot make Crystal River, at least I can make an easy drive.

If you ever feel the need to contact me to talk wrestling, film, music, or any other shenanigans you can reach me at http://www.myspace.com/fly_raven_fly926 or VIA AIM/E-mail at slashandburn926@aim.com. Until next time, stay classy.

- JP Nichols

For more information on FIP, go to:

Full Impact Pro Dot Com

You can order FIP shows, tickets, and t-shirts from

Full Impact Pro Dot Com

ROH Wrestling Dot Com

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October 10, 2008 - Tokyo, Japan

The show kicks off with a video package chronicling Shingo Takagi’s triumphs and troubles since winning the Open the Dream Gate Championship and leaving Real Hazard for Typhoon. Susumu Yokosuka has turned on him and demanded a shot. Gamma, Masaaki Mochizuki and Naruki Doi also want a shot so they’ll all fight for the right. Yokosuka and Mochizuki are both former champions, Gamma won the King of Gate in 2007 and Naruki Doi has a killer finisher.

Susumu Yokosuka VS. Masaaki Mochizuki VS. Gamma VS. Naruki Doi [Number One Contender Elimination Match]
Gamma tries to powder out to start but the other three demand he knuckle up with them. Mochizuki kicks Gamma. He hits a bodyslam and everyone puts the boots to him. Gamma bails. Yokosuka and Mochizuki fight it out clothesline for kick. Doi gets involved and strikes get thrown all over the place. Everyone starts stealing everyone else’s signature moves. Mochizuki hits Yokosuka with the Ikkakugeri. Gamma helps him hit it on Doi, but Horiguchi throws powder in his face and Gamma rolls him up for the elimination at 2:47 shown of 11:01. Doi and Gamma double-team Yokosuka in a surprising turn. Doi hits the Dai Bosou. Gamma hits him with a low blow. Yokosuka intercepts the blue cane but Gamma blocks the shot with a chair. He superkicks the chair into Yokosuka’s face. He hits the Gamma Special. Kanda hits Doi with the blue box. Gamma pulls the referee into Doi’s path. He hits the Gamma Special but the referee is still out. Gamma goes for the Blitzen but Darkside Hulk comes out and startles him. Hulk beats the crap out of Gamma and hits him with the FTX. He smacks Gamma with a chair and drags Doi on top of him for the elimination at 6:35 shown of 14:59. Yokosuka hits Doi with a clothesline. He hits an avalanche DVD for 2. Doi hits a miracle backdrop. He blocks Yokosuka’s surprise exploder and hits a flying elbowdrop for 2. Yokosuka hits a lariat. Doi hits the Doi 555. Yokosuka hits the Aikata for 2. They fight up top until Doi hits the avalanche Doi 555. He hits the Bakatare Sliding Kick for 2. Yokosuka avoids the Muscular Bomb and hits a pair of lariats. Doi gets a roll up for 2. Yokosuka hits another lariat. He hits the Mugen for 2. He hits another one, dropping Doi on the side of his head, and then hits the Jumbo no Kachi for the win at 12:47 shown of 21:26. This picked up nicely when it was down to Doi and Yokosuka, which makes me wish they’d just gone with those two to begin with.
Rating: ***

After the match Yokosuka is awarded his key, and he cries while promising to defeat Shingo Takagi for the title.

Another Shingo Takagi video plays, this one focusing on his feud against Real Hazard. He defeated Cyber Kong in defense of his Dream Gate title, but that didn’t stop the boys in blue from attacking him at every turn. Kong is now a Twin Gate Champion, so he and his partner YAMATO will try to put the Dream Gate Champion down for good. If WWE has taught me anything it’s that Takagi will probably walk out the winner here.

Shingo Takagi VS. Cyber Kong & YAMATO [Handicap Lumberjack Match]
There are lumberjacks from every faction. YAMATO starts for his team. He and Takagi fight it out on the mat. Kong tags in and matches power with Takagi. Takagi hit’s a shoulder tackle. YAMATO ptus on a sleeper hold. He goes for a triangle choke but Takagi easily counters to a powerbomb. He clotheslines YAMATO to the floor where he’s attacked by World 1. Takagi hits headbutts but a cheap shot from Kong leads to Takagi getting sent to the floor and abused by Real Hazard. The rest of the roster makes the save. Real Hazard gets in the ring and gangs up on Takagi, leading to a huge brawl involving everyone. Eventually only Takagi and YAMATO are left in the ring. YAMATO hit’s a dropkick. Kong tags in and works the arm. He tries to put Takagi through a table in the corner but ends up getting his own head rammed into it. Kong reverses an Irish whip and sends Takagi into the table. Horiguchi runs in and sets up the table. Kong Cyber Bombs Takagi through it. Takagi fights back. He hits YAMATO with an exploder. He hits Kong with a miracle suplex. He hits everything that moves with a piece of the table. YAMATO hit’s a pair of chair shots. Kong hit’s the Con-Chair-To. He hit’s the Cyber Bomb. YAMATO hit’s a brainbuster. He holds on and hits two more for 2. He puts on a crossface. Mori wants to throw in the towel but luckily for Takagi, Kong clotheslines him off the apron. Takagi gets to the ropes. He counters the Galleria to MADE IN JAPAN for 2 when Kong saves. He and Kong trade clotheslines for 2. Horiguchi attacks th referee. The lumberjacks brawl again. Kong hits YAMATO with the Pineapple Bomber by mistake. He hits Takagi with an avalanche and the Pineapple Bomber. Mori pops up on the apron and rips off Kong’s mask. Takagi hit’s a DVD. He hits YAMATO with a lariat. He slugs him across the face and hit’s the Last Falconry, dropping him directly on his head, for the win at 17:15 shown of 28:55. This was far too long for what they were going for. All the interference and goofiness could have been done in a ten-minute match for all the actual wrestling there was in this. After the match Yokosuka and Takagi powwow about their upcoming title match.
Rating: **¾

The show ends with clips from a couple of matches. First up we get Akira Tozawa pinning Don Fujii to wrap up his Diet Series. In doing so he completed his series against the Triangle Gate Champions with a 1-1-1 record, and asked for a shot at the belts for Tozawajuku. Next up are clips from an eight-man tag match between Typoon and World 1. Typhoon wins when Ryo Saito pins m.c.KZ after a pair of dragon suplexes. After the match Masato Yoshino introduces Madoka from Kaientai Dojo as a World 1 ally. He’ll help World 1 in an upcoming six-man tag against Typhoon. Next week Yoshino will challenge Genki Horiguchi for the Brave Gate Championship.

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“I’ve got my indignation, but I’m pure in all my thoughts”
-Eddie Vedder
Guaranteed

Hello, my name is Zane Thornsberry. You might remember me from such column’s as “200 Light Tubes”, “Our Favorite Things” “Pay-Per-View Roundtable”, and the now defunct “Oddsmaker” (please god do not let me get sued for that bit). However, after my last edition of “200 Light Tubes”, I decided to end the column for reasons I just don’t feel like getting into right now. So I’ve decided to cover a promotion that has always been there, a place where “anything is possible”. That company is of course, the magical land of WWE.

Now these days the WWE has become somewhat of a joke on the Internet. It seems that the cool thing to say is “LOLZ WWE SUXZ” (why they use a ‘z’ instead of an ‘s’ I will never understand). I’m however taking an unbiased approach to the company that everyone has watched at least once, welcome to the “No Spin Zone”. Let’s kick the first ever edition of “WWExamination” off with some of the things that I love about WWE right now.
PRO’S:

Chris Jericho: I’ve always been a big support of Jericho, all the way back to when I first saw him in ECW as “Lion Heart” Chris Jericho. Since he returned to the WWE to “Save Us” on November 19th, 2007 Jericho has (in my eyes) done enough to secure him a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame. He started off as the Jericho we all know and love, the fun loving face there to break up monotony. However, Jericho slowly started to become a more serious face before eventually turning heel. The moment that effectively made him a heel was of course when he threw Shawn Michaels into the “Jeri-Tron 5000”. Not only did that quickly establish him as the top heel on Raw, but it also kicked off a great feud with Shawn Michaels. Over the course of the past year, Jericho has really improved his character tons and has had some of the best matches in WWE. His Ladder Match with Shawn at No Mercy will forever be remembered as one of the best Ladder Matches in WWE history. The future looks troublesome for Jericho, as in just a few short days he faces John Cena for the WWE World Championship at Survivor Series in Cena’s hometown of Boston, MA. Will Jericho continue to reign over Raw, or will he be upset by the fan favorite John Cena? Only time will tell.

Priceless: I don’t know why, but ever since I was a little boy I’ve been a bigger fan of heels than faces. That shows with me being the biggest fan of Priceless I know. While I may not agree with the way they won the Tag belts, I have to say their performances have been nothing less than impressive. Ted DiBiase JR has “IT” in my opinion. All it takes is one breakout match, or promo and he’ll be one of the top stars in the WWE in no time. I’m not sure on Ted’s age, but if the WWE gets the ball rolling and puts the belt on Randy Orton, Ted could challenge (and possibly beat) the youngest World Champion in WWE history. That’d be quite the accomplishment for the young man. Cody Rhodes on the other hand might take a little longer to build. Regardless, I could see them both main eventing Pay-Per-Views this time next year; because when you’re this talented you don’t have to pay dues.

Matt Hardy: After YEARS of waiting by loyal MF’ers, Matt Hardy has finally won a World Championship. WWE did a damn good job by finally realizing the talent of Matt and giving him the ball to run with it. While competition may not be the greatest on the ECW brand, he’s done wonders with what he’s been given to work with. He did the impossible by having a good match with Mark Henry (when was the last time that happened?). He’s also has the Work Horse of ECW in Finlay to work with. It seems that they’re starting a program between Hardy and Finlay, which should prove to fans that you don’t have to be “ripped like Jesus” (thank you Mr. Behrendt) to have a good match.

New Talent Initiative: Speaking of lack of talent on ECW, they’re might have found a solution to that problem. You see, shortly after the draft ECW began bringing up superstars from developmental. This initiative has produced a fair share of gems (Jake Hager, Scotty Goldman etc), and it’s share of duds (Ricky Ortiz, Braden Walker etc). While they may not be bringing up the very best superstars in FCW such as TJ Wilson, and DH Smith, it is a way to build the stars of tomorrow.

Undertaker: No man has dominated the WWE quite like the Undertaker. Whether you’re a fan of his or not, you cannot argue that statement. In his 18 years of being the WWE, he’s faced a “Who’s Who” of wrestling superstars. Shawn Michaels? Check. Stone Cold Steve Austin? Check. Hulk Hogan? Check. The Rock? Check. Bret Hart? CHECK. The list goes on and on, just like Taker’s career. However, as he gets older his bumps are catching up with him. In the past two years he’s had to take months off multiple times for injures that he has suffered. Word floating around the Internet (so it must be true!) is that Taker has suffered a knee injury, and is going to continue to work in spite of it. Not only is he possibly one of the smartest guys in WWE when it comes to putting together a great match, but he is by fare the toughest man in the locker room.

WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2009: This is the only point where I’m going based on speculation alone. With the WWE going to Texas in 2009 for Wrestlemania 25, and the Hall of Fame Ceremony, there is one man from Texas who should be inducted without even thinking about it. That man is the Hardcore God, Terry Funk. Terry is perhaps the most talented wrestler ever to come out of Texas, and he deserves the honor of being inducted. Not only did he have one hell of a career when he was younger, but even when he should have been retired he was still busting his ass every night. For a few years now, I’ve realized that there are very few things that can make me emotional while watching wrestling. The first one being every time a heel is getting heat on Terry. Terry sells a beating like no other, and does so by making you think the poor old man is really being hurt. While the heel is giving Terry the beating of a lifetime, Terry is on the mat cursing out the heel saying how he’s going to get him. The second moment would be when Terry begins to mount his inevitable comeback, and starts throwing the wild punches of his. Everything he does helps tell the story, including throwing those punches like he is in the midst of the fight of his life. If the WWE passes up the chance to induct Terry, then their Hall means nothing.

Well folks, that is all the time I have for this week. Be sure to check back in 7 days for “The Cons”. Don’t forget to click the links to the left and right of this column, and check out the Movie Zone. Until next week wrestling fans.

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“Wha…what is this? What is this crap?! Where’s my Honorable Ponderings?! WHERE’S MY HONORABLE PONDERINGS!?!?!?!”

I understand that this was more than likely the thoughts of every single person who first opened up this column (or at least that’s what I tell myself). But yes, Honorable Ponderings is now a thing of the past. In its place is a new article regarding a completely different company: CHIKARA Pro Wrestling.

Admittedly, this was probably not the smartest week to start this column. The New England shows take place this weekend, and at the time of this writing, neither show has taken place. In addition, no matches for the season-closing weekend have been announced. What I have decided to do is to take this opportunity to let you, the wonderful readers and staff, understand how I arrived to the decision to change the column and what you can expect from Contemplating CHIKARA in the future.

Get ready for a long winded story about my fan hood!

Kevin Smith is one of my all time favorite screenwriters and directors. There is one scene in the movie “Dogma” where Janine Garofalo’s character explains to Linda Fiorentino’s character about why her faith (in God) has waned over the years. Garofolo explains that everyone is a figurative “glass” and the size of this glass changes with age (the older you get, the larger the glass gets). Garofolo explains to Fiorentino that her faith has waned because what the church provided her when she was a child filled her glass with ease, while the same amount doesn’t fill a larger glass (as she got older). This is how I came to feel about professional wrestling.

Like many, I started out watching WWF (or in cases for others, WCW) on T.V. It wasn’t till about 2002 where I started heavily going on the internet, meaning I went roughly a decade where the WWF was the only wrestling I watched. As I began learning more about other wrestling out there, coupled with the fact that WWE no longer satiated my pro wrestling appetite, I began exploring alternatives. Being a high schooler with no discretionary income, credit card, and parents unwilling to pony up cash so I could buy pro wrestling frivolities, my first pro wrestling alternative didn’t come till years later when TNA Wrestling appeared on Fox Sports. Every week, it aired on a local affiliate at 3:30 AM on Sunday mornings. I would set up a VHS tape to record TNA on a weekly basis and get my TNA fix on Sunday morning. Guys like AJ Styles, Chris Sabin, and Christopher Daniels were exactly what I was looking for in an alternative. It was also nice to see guys like Jeff Hardy, Raven, and others once again. A few months passed and I finally got to see TNA on Spike TV. This introduced me to guys like Samoa Joe, Alex Shelley, Austin Aries, and Roderick Strong who I became enamored with instantaneously. I got to college in the Fall of 2006, and by that time, TNA was near unwatchable. I needed something else to fill my glass now! So when I heard that there was a promotion called Ring of Honor where I could see all these guys wrestle without the silliness, I couldn’t have whipped out my fancy new debit card fast enough.

The first batch of current ROH shows I purchased was the Milestone Series and Joe vs. Kobashi. After watching those shows, I was an addict. I bought all the major ROH events, then some other shows, and shortly I was the proud owner of every single ROH show produced. My glass was filled again! I fondly remember going home from school breaks and running through a significant stack of ROH shows. ROH was the wrestling I thought about most, read about most, and looked forward to watching far more than WWE. I can not even begin to tell you the excitement I felt when ROH finally came to Virginia and I got to experience them live. Although the live shows are fun and all, the product in general took a turn in 2008.

I don’t know what happened, but I began to feel that every ROH show I was watching was the same. It seemed as if the shows had became formulaic with the same matches occurring, storylines being dragged out well past their expiration, and the insane amount of false finishes had began to take their toll on me as a fan. I had to take a step back, and realize that ROH, sadly, was no longer than spectacle it was at first. Do I still enjoy there shows? Yes, but my interested has most assuredly waned. The amount of shows they put out annually and being on a college students budget also don’t help. Keep in mind that regardless of my budget, I used to find a way to get every single ROH DVD because I loved the product that much. Not so much any more. With this realization, I figured it was unfair to the readers of the Cool Kids Table to write a column that could suffer from my lack of interest.

I once again needed to be filled.

Enter CHIKARA. I heard about CHIKARA first when F4W reviewed the third night of the 2007 King of Trios DVD. It sounded interesting, but I was apprehensive to spend money on a product I hadn’t seen. Then I found out about the Podcast-A-Go-Go and began watching it on a weekly basis. I loved what I saw and it was nice to see familiar faces such as Hero and Claudio in the promotion as well. This was different; the storylines were unlike any other company, made complete sense, and the wrestling was not only good, but fun! My roommate at the time, who despises wrestling, saw me watch one of the Podcast’s and said to me “Why the heck don’t they wrestle like this on TV?” Around King of Trios 2008, I saw the massive tournament lineup and became riddled with curiosity. When the three day tournament became available on Smart Mark Video, I plunked down my $60 and had them in my possession a mere three days later. After watching the tournament, my world had changed: CHIKARA was the new ROH.
I began ordering more shows and keeping up obsessively with what’s happening in CHIKARA’s whacky world. This may sound all too familiar with what happened when I began watching ROH.

Will my interest wane like ROH? Maybe; but right now, this is the promotion I love the most and the one I am most proud to say I am a fan of. I feel at this moment, it is my duty to spread the word of CHIKARA to the internet faithful. Ever since the CHIKOLUMN shut down, the Cool Kids Table has been severely lacking in the CHIKARA department. With this column, it is my goal to no longer make that the case. CHIKARA has made unbelievable strides in 2008 (which I will cover come the end of the season) and has enjoyed an increased fan base and notoriety because of it. With that said, it seemed quite silly that our website wasn’t covering it. That is no longer the case.

Just like Honorable Ponderings, I will provide my take on certain things going on in the organization, but it will be so much more than that (I’d like to think). I am also interested in hearing what you, the readers want out of this column. If there is anything in particular you want to see from the column in the future, please feel free to comment. Every idea will at the very least be taken into consideration. I hope I have not alienated any readers by switching my direction. I personally feel this is the best move for not only myself, but for the Cool Kids Table as a whole. I can assure you, the readers, that the best of my writing ability has yet to come, and I firmly believe my infatuation with CHIKARA will help bring that out.

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