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The CHIKOLUMN: Playing the Lottery
By Jason Sterlacci | August 17, 2008
Call it a hunch, but this is going to be better than WCW’s version.
Welcome back one and all to the CHIKOLUMN. Last weekend, obligations prevented me from going to both “All That Glitters” and “Vanity and Violence,” so I’m going to have to make that up by going to both Pennsylvania shows in September. In the meantime, I’m going to spend some time talking about the first of those upcoming shows.
Current CHIKARA Title Holders
CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas
Incoherence (Delirious & Hallowicked)
(Defeated F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Chuck Taylor) on October 26, 2007 in Reading, PA)
-Defeated Up In Smoke (Cheech & Cloudy) on November 17, 2007 in Hellertown, PA
-Defeated F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma & Icarus) on April 20, 2008 in Philadelphia, PA
-Defeated The Osirian Portal (Ophidian & Amasis) on May 18, 2008 in Philadelphia, PA
-Defeated The Fabulous Two (Mitch Ryder & Buck Hawke) on July 13, 2008 in Philadelphia, PA
-Defeated The Sea Donsters (Tim Donst & Hydra) on August 9, 2008 in Reading, PA
Upcoming Defenses:
None Announced
Based on recent events, the likelihood of Lightning Storm (Mike Quackenbush & Shane Storm) receiving a title shot is very unlikely, so their names have been removed from the “Upcoming Defenses” list. Should this change, it will be noted.
Active teams with 2 points: The Order of the Neo Solar Temple (UltraMantis Black & Crossbones), Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno & Player Dos)
Active teams with 1 point: F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Chuck Taylor), The Colony (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant), F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma & Chuck Taylor), Up In Smoke (Cheech & Cloudy), The Fabulous Two (Mitch Ryder & Buck Hawke), Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)
Note: “Active teams” implies that the team has had at least one tag team match in the last six months. As a result, the list of point totals is longer than what is listed above. Should an “inactive team” get an additional point, it will be noted.
CHIKARA Young Lions Cup Holder
Vin Gerard
(Defeated Fire Ant on July 13, 2008 in Philadelphia, PA)
-Defeated Drake Younger by disqualification on August 10, 2008 in Philadelphia, PA
Upcoming Defenses:
None Announced
Notable Feuds
Mike Quackenbush v. Shane Storm
The series is now split, as Shane Storm managed to pick up a win in his second encounter with Quack at “All That Glitters” thanks to the interference of one Vin Gerard. Earlier in the night, Gerard cut a promo noting that Storm was responsible for the death of Equinox and arguing that the two should stick together, in addition to suggesting that Storm lose the mask. In the actual match, Shane took a big Jig ‘n’ Tonic from his former mentor on the floor, and while Sabato was counting Storm out, Gerard attacked Quack. Storm got in at 19, got the pin, and got the win. With Vin now involving himself in Storm’s affairs, look for their feuds to start to come together, if not at “La Loteria Letal”, then certainly by the end of September.
Vin Gerard v. The Colony
In their meeting at “All That Glitters,” Worker Ant picked up a big win on Gerard after hitting a brainbuster. Gerard ultimately had a decent weekend, however, by getting a DQ win over Drake Younger in a Young Lions Cup defense thanks to Shane Storm. As I write this, nothing has been announced for the upcoming shows involving Gerard and The Colony, but that’s sure to change before the September shows come.
Claudio Castagnoli v. Brodie Lee
Claudio and Brodie met up in a trios match at “Vanity and Violence” last Sunday; Claudio teamed with Incoherence and Lee worked with The Osirian Portal. The faces got the win, with Claudio getting the pin on Ophidian, but after the match he and the “Big Rig” got into a brawl. The entire roster poured out to break the pair apart.
At “Style and Substance” in September, Castagnoli and Lee will meet in what will almost certainly be the conclusion to this feud: a steel cage match. Should be a classic.
Larry Sweeney v. Mitch Ryder and Buck Hawke
Sweeney is just unlucky when it comes to Ryder and Hawke. Sweeney’s clients, Sara Del Rey and Bobby Dempsey, teamed to take on The Fabulous Two, and lost due to a mistake made by “Sweet and Sour.” As of right now, little has been announced for the September shows, but Sweeney is sure to face off against at least one of the Fab Two soon enough.
The Sea Donsters v. The Order of the Neo Solar Temple
UltraMantis and Crossbones were a presence in The Sea Donsters’ Campeonatos de Parejas match, causing enough of a distraction to allow Delirious to hit a Chemical Imbalance and retain the titles for Incoherence. The next night, The Order (with Dr. Cube) got a big win against Donst and Hydra (with Mike Quackenbush) when Mantis hit a Praying Mantis Bomb on everyone’s favorite monster.
Eddie Kingston v. Lince Dorado
Eddie and Lince had an absolutely brutal match in Philadelphia on Sunday. Kingston spent most of the match destroying Dorado yet again, screaming about the Golden Lynx’s inability to win over the CHIKARA faithful. After over twelve minutes of destruction, Lince went down to a rear naked choke. Lince begged for more once again, so there’s probably more of this to come.
Recent show results
All That Glitters – August 9, 2008 – Reading, PA
(Thanks to Smurf on CHIKARAFans.com for the results to both shows)
1. The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno & Player Dos (formerly Stupefied)) defeated The Osirian Portal (Ophidian & Amasis) following a tandem piledriver on Amasis. The Super Smash Brothers now have 1 point and are apparently back on the same page following some recent tension. As an upgrade from Uno, Dos has the ability to upload video game cartridges and use things from the game, channeling “The Karate Kid” in this match.
Vin Gerard came out and cut a promo directed at Shane Storm. Vin reminded Storm that he hasn’t had a big win in some time and thanked him for basically destroying Equinox. He then suggested an alliance and that Storm ditch his mask.
2. Brodie Lee defeated Ultimo Breakfast. While Breakfast got in some offense, Lee still nailed the devastating big boot in a fast match.
3. Fire Ant defeated Jimmy Olsen via disqualification after Olsen rips off Fire Ant’s mask. The consensus is that Olsen is looking for former partner Colin. Said to be a great back and forth match until the DQ.
4. Shane Storm defeated Mike Quackenbush thanks to interference from Vin Gerard. Storm focused on Quack’s knee, but Quack hit a big Jig and Tonic on the floor. Quack was taken out by Gerard while referee Derek Sabato was counting Storm. Storm rolled in at 19 and got the pin.
5. F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma, Icarus & Chuck Taylor) defeated Lince Dorado & Las Chivas (Chiva III & Chiva IV) when Chuck pinned one of the Chivas after an Omega Driver. Lince apparently did little in the match.
6. Buck Hawke defeated Claudio Castagnoli thanks to bridging out on a Ricola Bomb and help from Mitch Ryder in a short match.
7. Worker Ant defeated Vin Gerard. Vin was apparently covered in bug spray and laid out ant traps. Despite all this, Worker hit a big brainbuster to get the win.
8. Campeonatos de Parejas: Incoherence (Delirious & Hallowicked) defeated The Sea Donsters (Tim Donst & Hydra) 2-0 to retain their titles. Hydra was pinned in both falls; first, Hallowicked hit a Yakuza kick while Hydra was going for a Batista Bomb on Delirious. Second, UltraMantis Black and Crossbones distracted Hydra enough for Delirious to hit the Chemical Imbalance and retain.
Vanity and Violence - August 10, 2008 – Philadelphia, PA
1. Los Ice Creams (Ice Cream Jr. & El Hijo del Ice Cream) defeated Las Chivas (Chiva III & Chiva IV) with an El Asesino. Los Ice Creams now have 1 point.
2. Fire Ant defeated Chuck Taylor with a Beach Break. Said to be a serious match with occasional humor coming from the ever-lovable Chucky T.
Vin Gerard and Shane Storm had a segment together; Vin noted that Shane was now winning, and implied that he needs to remove the mask.
3. The Fabulous Two (Mitch Ryder & Buck Hawke) defeated Sweet and Sour Incorporated (Bobby Dempsey & Sara Del Rey). Larry Sweeney attempted to help Dempsey get the pin on Hawke, but accidentally helped Hawke get the pin on Dempsey. Ryder proceeded to call Sweeney a loser.
4. Jimmy Olsen defeated Worker Ant following a brainbuster. Olsen went for the mask again; he saw who was underneath but didn’t remove it.
5. The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno & Player Dos) defeated F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma & Icarus). Uno and Dos now have 2 points. Dos channeled “Karate Kid: Part II” in this match, and Mortal Kombat sound effects were used in the match.
Tag World Grand Prix has been announced for a return in November.
6. Young Lions Cup Match: Vin Gerard defeated Drake Younger to retain the Cup. The match was said to be good with a lot of chain wrestling followed by stiff shots from Younger. Shane Storm came out about halfway through. Drake hit the Drake’s Landing, but Storm hit Vin to give Gerard a DQ win. Storm celebrated after the match.
7. The Order of the Neo Solar Temple (UltraMantis Black & Crossbones) & Dr. Cube defeated Mike Quackebush & The Sea Donsters (Tim Donst & Hydra) when Mantis hit a Praying Mantis Bomb on Hydra.
8. Eddie Kingston defeated Lince Dorado after a rear naked choke. Most of the match is detailed above, but Kingston just let Lince have it in this match. Afterward, Lince asked for more punishment again.
9. Claudio Castagnoli & Incoherence (Delirious & Hallowicked) defeated Brodie Lee & The Osirian Portal (Ophidian & Amasis) when Claudio pinned Ophidian. A lot happened in this match, with Delirious playing Ricky Morton, multiple Claudio-Brodie brawls, and all hell breaking loose. Following the match, Claudio and Brodie got into it again and the locker room emptied out. A cage match between the two was announced for “Style and Substance”.
Upcoming shows
La Loteria Letal – September 6, 2008 – Easton, PA
Style and Substance – September 7, 2008 – Philadelphia, PA
(Note: Due to me being away for an extended weekend, the announced participants for “La Loteria Letal” and the matches for “Style and Substance” will invariably be out of date by Sunday; look for up to date match listings for all shows in the next CHIKOLUMN.)
The Artistic Pursuit of Being Yourself – September 20, 2008 – Streamwood, IL
Laying in the Gutter, Looking at the Stars – September 21, 2008 – Bellefontaine, OH
The Global Gauntlet, Night 1 – October 18, 2008 – Easton, PA
The Global Gauntlet, Night 2 – October 19, 2008 – Philadelphia, PA
Playing the Lottery
By and large, the innovative matches created by World Championship Wrestling were abysmal. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved War Games matches as much as anyone (the 1991 and 1992 editions in particular being two of the best matches of all time, in my opinion), but just about every other gimmick match created by WCW was atrocious. Triple cage matches? Horrendous. Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal? Well, it would have been fine if the wheel had been gimmicked for a good stipulation, and not a coal miner’s glove match. Chamber of Horrors? Ridiculously bad. The San Francisco 49ers Match? Stupid beyond reproach. The Lethal Lottery? Bad, but…
You see, I’ve always had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind when it comes to the Lethal Lottery. While the matches usually didn’t play out well (and were more often than not unmitigated disasters), I’ve always felt that the idea behind the match was brilliant. A history lesson, for those that have no idea what I’m talking about: the “Lethal Lottery” was the creation of Dusty Rhodes, first used at Starrcade 1991. In the inaugural version, forty wrestlers were paired off “at random” to form twenty tag teams. Two teams would face off, and the winning teams would advance to the Battlebowl match at the end of the night, a two-ring battle royal, with the sole survivor winning a World Heavyweight Championship spot at Super Brawl II.
There were two problems with the idea. First, WCW had been on a hot streak when it came to storylines since the summer, rebounding after the disasters that were Flair leaving for the WWF and The Great American Bash 1991, so making the biggest show of the year a night of “random tag” matches was incredibly stupid, especially since all of the matches at the phenomenal Super Brawl II could have been done with little booking effort for this show.
Second, while the pairings were decided beforehand and were therefore not really random, Rhodes apparently decided on most of the teams by pulling names out of a hat. Only a handful of the teams actually meshed well as partners, so most of the matches were trainwrecks. In fact, only one of the lottery matches from 1991 was any good (Lex Luger & Arn Anderson v. Terry Taylor & Tom Zenk). Despite this, WCW tried the format again three more times with the same bad “random” matches each time (though Starrcade 1992 should be seen regardless because of Brian Pillman & 2 Cold Scorpio v. The Great Muta & Barry Windham as well as the non-Lethal Lottery matches). Hell, even a match in 1993 which saw Ric Flair and Steve Austin team up was pretty rough, which is why WCW only tried the “Lethal Lottery” once more after that, at the largely horrendous Slamboree 1996.
So given the Lethal Lottery’s history of being awful, why I am so pumped for CHIKARA doing a night of these match-ups? First and foremost, I have a lot more faith in CHIKARA’s booking team than I ever did in WCW’s. Depending on who you ask, the draw for Starrcade 1991 was one of three things: actually random, decided upon well in advance — but the performers weren’t told to make it seem random, or a mix of the two (decided in advance for the main eventers, random otherwise). No matter what the case was, the wrestlers didn’t have time to prepare, get used to each other in the ring, or develop the necessary chemistry to be a functional tag team, albeit a randomly thrown together one that doesn’t appear to have any chemistry. Call it a hunch, but I don’t think CHIKARA will make the mistake of booking on the fly. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if all eight teams have already been decided on, giving the participants ample time to get a feel for each other.
However, that’s not the only reason. Over the last few years, no company in America has done the Parejas Incredibles match (opponents teaming up) as well as CHIKARA has. Being a company heavily influenced by lucha traditions, this probably isn’t surprising to most readers, but it’s worth pointing out. For the most part, when rivals are teamed together in other companies, the tension just isn’t there like it should be. Look at Batista and John Cena’s two tag team title matches over the last few weeks; matches that should have been tense and exciting in part because of the pairing were largely flat, suffering from a lack of understanding about how to book these matches. While I doubt every team in “La Loteria Letal” will be made up of rivals (because that would get really old, really fast), the one or two teams that are will make for amazing drama and memorable CHIKARA moments. For instance, imagine the possibilities of Mike Quackenbush and Vin Gerard being forced to come together and twisting the Shane Storm storyline; then imagine them winning the whole thing and getting a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas.
I may be in the minority here, but I find the possibilities to be really interesting. I’m sure CHIKARA’s going to throw a few twists out there and I’m positive that we’re going to get a very good show (as always). And that’s why I’m really pumped for “La Loteria Letal.” Because no matter who gets paired with who and who wins the tournament, fans are going to be treated to yet another great weekend of wrestling, which is something that WCW certainly couldn’t do when it attempted the Lethal Lottery so many years ago. And who knows; if this show winds up being a success, maybe next year CHIKARA can try to fix the Chamber of Horrors match.
Actually, scratch that. There are some things that even CHIKARA shouldn’t try to tackle.
Topics: The Permanent Record |