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TNA Presents: Turning Point 2006 (BUY)
By Jake Ziegler | July 23, 2008
Joe and Angle lock up again.
Orlando, FL – 12.10.06
Pre Show
TNA – We [Claim To Be] Wrestling!
A video package welcomes us, and highlights the Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle rematch, as well as the three-way for the NWA Title featuring Abyss vs. Christian Cage vs. Sting. Christy Hemme welcomes us to the preshow and throws it over to Borash, who is with a nice pair of breasts and Robert Roode. He’s mad that Eric Young gets cheered and he doesn’t. Traci is confident of her imminent victory tonight.
Mike Tenay and Don West welcome the viewers, and they hype up tonight’s card. They lead into the video package for the three-way NWA Title match. Looks like Tomko debuted between the last PPV and this one. Borash is backstage with Jim Mitchell and the NWA World Champion Abyss. Mitchell cuts the usual annoying promo, and Abyss looks like he might not be all there tonight.
PRESHOW MATCH: Ron “The Truth” Killings & Lance Hoyt vs. Serotonin
This is another handicap match for Raven’s trio. Killings & Hoyt pulled a terrible match out of Austin Starr & Alex Shelley last month, so I don’t hold out much hope for this thing. Kazarian and Hoyt start, and Maverick Matt is soon tagged in. Hoyt no sells a kick from Matt and hits a flapjack and tags Truth in. They hit a few double team moves on Matt and Truth has the crowd behind him. Serotonin soon takes over on Hoyt and works him over in their corner. Hoyt fights back on Kazarian and tags Truth in and takes out everybody. It turns into a big brawl and Truth hits the Axe Kick on Kazarian to get the pin at 4:37. Well it wasn’t offensive like the last victory for this team, but it certainly wasn’t good.
Rating: *
We go backstage, where Borash is with Chris Sabin, who will challenge for the X-Division Title tonight, and Jerry Lynn, who will referee the match. Sabin makes fun of Lynn’s age, and Lynn defends himself.
Tenay and West hype the rest o the card and Raven comes back out with Serotonin, wearing the same stupid gimmick he had on last month. He also has yellow contacts in like the ones Michael Jackson wore in the “Thriller” video. He hits Kazarian with the purple kendo stick a few times, and I don’t remember if this angle ever went anywhere.
Tenay and West are back to hype THE REMATCH. It’s pretty annoying how they keep calling it that. Anyway, they show the hype video for that match. It’s pretty effective actually. Angle does claim that win lose or draw, this is his last match with Samoa Joe. Borash is backstage with Joe, who promises to hurt Kurt Angle tonight and win the match. Some blonde chick is in the back and wants to get a word with Kurt Angle, but someone from “his” car hands her a sledgehammer instead. Gee, what could that be a reference to? This company is so stupid sometimes.
We cut to the arena where Don West is giving the QVC final hype for the show. They close it out to a music video that’s set to some really awful metal music.
TURNING POINT
MATCH #1: Senshi vs. Austin Starr vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal
This is the first match of the Paparazzi Championship Series, and it’s an elimination match. Nash once again joins West and Tenay on commentary. Shelley and Lethal start the match. Shelley stalls a lot and appeals to his mentor Nash. Shelley and Starr work together on both Lethal and Dutt. They come back with some double teaming of their own, and that kind of leaves Senshi on his own. Nash’s constant accusations of Dutt being on the gas are pretty funny. Shelley comes back on Dutt by dragging his groin across the top rope. Senshi tags himself in and goes to work on Dutt. The match breaks down to a bit of a brawl and Shelley and Starr briefly argue. Dutt and Shelley wind up the only two in the ring. Dutt hits a swinging DDT for two. Dutt follows with an Ace Crusher and rolls right into the Camel Clutch. Starr pulls Shelley away from the ropes and Shelley taps out at 7:52. Starr is proud of himself. Lethal comes in and he and Dutt go at it now. Senshi blind tags himself in and nails Lethal with a shotgun dropkick to eliminate him at 8:50. Starr comes in now to work over Dutt. Senshi comes in to abuse Dutt for a bit, and then Starr comes back in. The match breaks down to a three-way brawl and they’re all holding their own with each other. Starr is finally able to land the kick to the head, the brainbuster, and the 450 splash to eliminate Dutt at 13:12. We’re down to Starr and Senshi. Starr goes up for the 450 again but Shelley distracts him and Senshi is able to get a rollup to win the match at 14:38. That was solid X-Division action, and seems to be leading towards a Starr vs. Shelley feud. I don’t think it ever actually happened though.
Rating: ***
BIKINI CONTEST – Ms. Brooks vs. Eric Young
Borash gets a word with Eric Young backstage, and he’s talking about the guys in the limo. Borash urging Young to “be man and go out there and win that bikini contest” is actually pretty funny. I can’t imagine why anyone would think putting this on pay-per-view was a good idea. But then I remember which company I’m watching and I’m suddenly not that surprised. Brooks goes first and isn’t dressed nearly whorish enough. Tenay and West speculate on Traci’s bra size. They draw this out for way too long and Tenay thinks this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen. The fans vote Eric Young as the winner, but I vote for “waste of time.” Roode attacks Young out of frustration, but Young escapes. Roode gets on the mic and is pissed at Traci for losing. He wants Traci to get Eric Young to sign with Robert Roode, Inc. He has this weird desire to be liked by the fans and thinks getting Young will accomplish that.
Some blonde chick is by the locker room of “Dumb to the Extreme,” which I guess is where Paul Leveque and Michael Hickenbottom are hanging out. This is so, so, so, so, so, so, so stupid.
MATCH #2: X Division Title Match – “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels vs. Chris Sabin
Daniels has been the champion since 11.16.06, and this is his second defense. They chain wrestle to start and Sabin holds the early advantage. Daniels comes back and starts going after the arm. Daniels grounds Sabin and Lynn seems to be acting as a fair referee. Sabin recovers and tosses Daniels to the floor. He follows him out, yells at Don West, and then delivers a hiptoss onto the entrance ramp. He then delivers an awesome running fist drop. Back in the ring Sabin works over Daniels’s neck and gets a couple of near falls. Daniels fights back with an STO after several minutes of abuse. Daniels hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. He goes for the Angel’s Wings but Sabin avoids it and slips to the floor. Daniels follows him out and shoves his back into the guardrail. Sabin whips Daniels into the ring, but Daniels is able to jump himself into the ring and hit a sweet dropkick, and then a big elbow off the second rope in a neat spot. Back in the ring Sabin takes control but misses that running boot. He’s able to hit the tornado DDT though for a near fall. Daniels recovers and hits the Death Valley Driver for two. Daniels hits a flatliner and rolls it right into the Koji Clutch. Sabin reaches the ropes. They get up and this time Sabin does hit the running boot. He tries a springboard but Daniels palm strikes him down. He hits the uranage and the Best Moonsault Ever to cleanly pin Sabin at 12:27. That was proficient but not quite as good as their match last month. I can’t see why Sabin would get another title shot after this, but I know he did. Lynn gets on the mic and announces that Daniels was the better man and implores Sabin to shake the hand of the better man. Daniels doesn’t seem to care as much as Lynn does, so Lynn slaps him in the face. What a meddling jerk.
Rating: ***¼
TNA Management
Tenay and West hype the rest of the card and then sadly inform me that Jim Cornette will now be joining us for a promo. Cornette says hello to Chicago White Sox AJ Pierzynski and Dale Torborg, and St. Louis Cardinal David Eckstein, who’s there with his brother. The baseball players all exchange pleasantries. Pierzynski looks like Zach Gowen. Cornette interviews Eckstein, which is really just a waste of time. Torborg and Pierzynski turn heel on Eckstein and beat up him and his brother just for fun. Lance Hoyt (one of Eckstein’s favorite wrestlers) comes out to make the save. I guess Pierzynski is hated amongst MLB players, so I guess that’s why he’s a heel, but this whole thing just seems like a publicity stunt, but when done right can actually be very helpful.
MATCH #3: “The War Machine” Rhino vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
The video package shows me that AJ Styles is in the right in this feud and Rhino should just mind his own damn business. Although that may just be because I think Rhino is such a butthole. Rhino tries cutting a promo with Borash backstage, but AJ Styles attacks him just to be a dick. They’re fighting in a hallway and Rhino suplexes Styles on a garbage can. They fight into the Impact Zone and all throughout the crowd. They brawl for a while before finally making it to the ring and we have our opening bell. Styles takes control and hits the big dropkick. Styles knocks Rhino to the floor but decides not to dive. He does join Rhino on the floor and it turns out badly for him as Rhino delivers a belly-to-belly suplex. They get back in the ring and Rhino hits a spinebuster for two. Styles comes back and goes for the Styles Clash and Rhino dumps him over the ropes to the floor and Styles lands badly on his leg and says he hurt his knee. The trainers and other people come out to attend to him, but after a few minutes of dicking around Styles jumps into the ring and rolls Rhino up and the ref counts three to give Styles the win at 7:31. That’s a stupid finish but Styles’s reaction to it was pretty funny. The referee looking all pissed in turn makes me pissed, because they’re supposed to be impartial. Anyway the match really wasn’t much and the feud is flimsy at best, so there’s not much to see here.
Rating: **¼
Backstage Leticia has a run-in with a guy who’s supposed to be Vince McMahon. They refer to WWE TV, which is asinine, and Mike and Don are all giggly about it. It’s this kind of shit that has always made TNA look bush league and they refuse to admit it. Styles and Rhino are continuing their brawl out here in the Impact Zone.
MATCH #4: Flag Match – LAX vs. America’s Most Wanted
The LAX’s NWA World Tag Team Titles are not on the line here. If TNA had any real guts they would have let them go through with burning the flag. Just imagine the heat! Not only do you have to capture your flag, but then you have to use a ladder to then hang it. That seems like overkill, but then again, this is TNA. It’s a big brawl from the get-go here. Gail Kim interferes for no reason, so I’m sure when she gets what’s coming to her later Tenay and West will be horrified. The fight goes into the ring, and LAX are in firm control. Harris and Hernandez go to the floor while Storm and Homicide fight in the ring. Harris brings a ladder into the ring and he and Homicide somehow blow a back body drop onto it. Hernandez is able to choke throw Harris onto it with no trouble. LAX continues to stay in control, so Gail interferes again and that gives Harris the chance to deliver a superplex to Homicide. Hernandez brings the Mexican flag down and starts climbing, but Storm stops him and hits a sunset bomb. Harris grabs the American flag but Homicide stops him while he’s still on the ropes and delivers an Ace Crusher. He sets up for the Gringo Killer, and Gail Kim interferes yet again. Gail tries to hang the flag herself, so Konnan comes in and stops her. Petey Williams comes out to interfere now and winds up getting clobbered by Hernandez. The largest man in the match then soars over the top rope onto Storm. Homicide and Harris each have their flag and both are climbing. Storm grabs his beer bottle and cracks it over Homicide’s head, but a piece of broken glass gets in Harris’s eye so he falls off the ladder too. Hernandez then hangs the Mexican flag and LAX wins the match at 10:42. I’m not sure why that wasn’t for the titles. That was a fun brawl up to a point and the finish was actually pretty creative, but it did get a little overdone. Harris and Storm don’t even stay around for the Mexican national anthem, so they’re poor sports. Mike and Don agree to stand up out of respect for Mexico, although not the trio of Konnan, Homicide, and Hernandez.
Rating: **¾
Backstage Storm is pissed and blames Harris for the loss, saying he quit like he always does. He says Harris has until Thursday on Impact to apologize to him and America for the disgrace we just had to see. That’s TNA for you, using PPV to build to free TV.
Voodoo Kin Mafia
BG James and Kip James come out dressed as Triple H and Shawn Michaels, to waste even more of my time. Some guys dressed as cheerleaders come out, and then a fat oiled up guy in a g-string comes out. BG makes sure to point out that was parody, which is protected under the law so I’m sure that’s why he made that statement. BG drags up a bunch of ancient history and this is just the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever seen on a TNA pay-per-view, and that’s a huge can of worms to open right there. I guess the point is that they think what D-X is doing now is ruining the legacy they helped create. BG issues a $1 million challenge to “fight” Michaels and HHH, and he goes on to further destroy the business with his promo. I can’t even begin to describe how pointless and awful and stupid and awful this whole scenario was. A lot of the TNA fans are “smart” enough to know it’s not going to happen, so why waste their time? And for the fans who aren’t “smart” enough to realize that, why don’t you just slap them in the face while you steal their money, since they think there might be an actual chance of it happening when you know full well it won’t. I don’t like to swear that much in my reviews if I can help it, but FUCK YOU to everyone involved in this situation, from Dixie Carter to Jeff Jarrett to BG James to Kip James to Mike Tenay to Don West, and to anyone else I may have forgotten. FUCK YOU!
MATCH #5: World Title Match – Abyss vs. Christian Cage vs. Sting
This was the period where Sting wanted to prove that Abyss was a “human being” or some such nonsense. He started calling him “Chris” and begins killing off the entire mystique of the character and setting in motion more of the worst stuff TNA would ever do. Abyss has been the champion since 11.19.06 and this is his first defense. I’m so annoyed by the previous segment and the storyline of this match that I’m having trouble focusing on this match. Sting of course gets the early advantage and beats up both guys easily and needs Tomko to attack him from behind to slow him down. Abyss beats up Cage in the ring, and Tenay talks about how Abyss’s game plan was to take Sting out and have only one opponent, but I thought it was Tomko that took Sting out. Cage comes back with a tornado DDT for two and then goes low with a dropkick. They have to work in a Tower of Doom spot, of course. Sting just gets to no-sell whenever he feels like it. He may be the worst thing to ever happen to TNA. He puts the Scorpion Deathlock on Cage, but Mitchell distracts Sting and Tomko gives Cage the belt. Sting of course counters it and hits the Scorpion Death Drop and Tomko pulls the referee out and hits Sting with a clothesline. Abyss comes back in the ring and this thing is just a mess. Thumbtacks come into play now. Abyss goes to chokeslam Sting, who politely asks that he not do it. Tomko interferes again. Sting keeps trying to talk to Abyss, and then goes for the Scorpion Deathlock but Cage introduces a chair to the match. Abyss hits a bad looking Black Hole Slam on Sting after badly throwing Cage to the floor and he wins the match at 11:55. The referee is not bothered by the thousands of tacks in the ring. What the hell was that? This was all kinds of sloppy and overbooked and they couldn’t even execute the finish properly.
Rating: *
MATCH #6: The Rematch – Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe
Kurt Angle reiterates that this will be the last time he wrestles Samoa Joe. Angle spits and shakes a lot in his promo, and spits water out. He’s so weird. Angle is the aggressor early on and gains an early advantage. Joe soon comes back and tenaciously goes after Angle with a series of strikes and clotheslines. They fight to the floor and Angle comes back on Joe. He even hits a very ugly looking dive. Back in the ring Angle maintains control. Every time Joe tries a comeback Angle is able to cut him off. Joe finally hits an overhead German suplex and both men are down. Joe briefly goes on offense before Angle cuts him off and hits the rolling Germans. Angle gets the Ankle Lock on and Joe escapes and delivers a big knee to the face. He puts Angle on the top rope and hits a big kick and goes for the Muscle Buster. Angle rolls through and right back into the Ankle Lock. Joe once again escapes, only to be hit with the Olympic Slam but he kicks out. Angle pulls the straps down and goes back to the Ankle Lock. Joe rolls it over to the Choke, but Angle re-reverses it. Joe once again gets the Choke. Angle gets the Ankle Lock. I’m sensing a pattern here. I catch a brief glimpse of Borash cheerleading in the background and I giggle. This time Joe makes the ropes. Angle puts Joe on the top rope as Tenay gushes. Angle tries the super belly to belly suplex but Joe headbutts him down. Angle pops up and hits it, but Joe kicks out. Angle tries an Olympic Slam but Joe armdrags his way out of it. Angle runs into a Joe elbow and accidentally knocks the referee down, of course. Angle goes for the Cobra Clutch of all things, and Joe reverses to the Choke and Angle tapes out but there’s no referee. Joe goes to wake the ref up and Angle kicks him right in the balls. Angle goes out and grabs a chair but winds up hitting himself in the face with it. Joe gets the Choke on again and this time Angle taps out for real at 19:17. That was about as good as last month’s match, even at over six minutes longer. I think they relied too much on reversing each other’s finishers too many times, but I guess the crowd bought it each time so what do I know? I also dare TNA to have a main event without a referee bump of some kind.
Rating: ****
Overall
A couple of good X-division matches and a very good main event aren’t enough to save TNA this time, as the colossal stupidity of the bikini contest and Voodoo Kin Mafia garbage make this one a chore to get through. There were only six actual matches, which is a little silly given their talent roster. It’s insanely frustrating to watch this company blow it time and time again. You can buy it here if you want to.
Topics: TNA Reviews |